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Guest column

Cruise offers respite from soccer mom duties

By JAMES PETTICAN
Published August 26, 2005

In a society that stresses independence, we have some of the most dependent kids in the world. I sometimes refer to them as the "chauffeured generation." Our grandson, Joey, 9, is one of them.

Since we long ago gave up decent public transportation by succumbing to the culture of the car, Joey and millions of others are forced to rely on family-provided transportation to go just about every place they need to go. Our so-called soccer moms bear the brunt of the transport burden, although good old Dad gets in on the act too. School buses do their part, but transportation to sports, Scouts, malls, parties, parks, etc., usually depends on the family "chauffeur."

More than three-quarters of a century ago, I was 9 years old too, and no one had to drive me anywhere. The candy store was just around the block (no street crossing involved) and the butcher, the grocer, as well as the drugstore, were just a few doors beyond. When my mother needed a loaf of bread or any other last-minute item, one of us five kids was dispatched to get it. If there were pennies left over, we might hope to trade them for gum, candy or a comic book.

School buses? They were used only in remote rural areas. We walked to school and, in most instances, lived close enough to walk home for lunch.

Last spring, we encountered at least a temporary solution to the current problem, totally unexpected and short-lived, but welcome, nevertheless. We sailed from Tampa for a family-style cruise aboard Carnival's Inspiration. Nothing startling about that, of course, since many families do it these days. However, it included a bonus experience for Joey that we hadn't anticipated.

On the big ocean liner, the dependency pattern was broken as Joey and other kids discovered that they could go places on their own. For the first few hours, Joey stayed close to his mom, who, fortunately, had been on the ship before and was able to give him a quick course on the setup of decks, what was where and how you got from here to there. By next day, fast learner Joey had mastered the fundamentals.

He had also signed up for the ship's Camp Carnival, which provides kids' activities by age groups. His mom dropped him off at the first meeting, but by the second get-together on the second day out, he told her he would go by himself, and he did. Soon, he was going various places from snack bars to shops, mostly by himself. We noticed that many of his camp pals were doing the same.

At our first port of call, we went ashore and, of course, he stayed close as we wanted him to do in a foreign country. However, back on the ship again he went right back to his role of being independent and self-reliant. Meanwhile, he was enjoying all the oohs and aahs of a first-time cruiser.

The kids' big social event (which elevated our eyebrows somewhat at the time) was a late-night party, available only to 9- to 11-year-olds, which ran from 10 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. Joey was eager to attend and did, although we never thought he would last past midnight. He went off to the party by himself, but I must confess we took an unnoticed peek at the gathering a short while later to make sure he had arrived. Kids who lasted until the end were escorted back to their cabins by a camp counselor. Next morning, we learned that his mom barely woke up as he slipped quietly into bed, just past 3:30 a.m.

All too soon, we were back in Tampa and the real world. Since kids don't pay much attention to sociological trends, Joey seemed to accept rejoining his "chauffeured generation" as a matter of course and within 24 hours was being ferried here and there as usual.

I realize the crime and terrorism of today's world must be factored into the equation also, but I still reflect on how the safe, compact neighborhood of my day has morphed into the sprawling suburb of today. At least our grandson and others got, with or without realizing it, a short stay in the world as it used to be but is no more. We thought Joey responded well, as most kids would. We're glad he got a sample of personal independence and can't help hoping the future will bring more of it and not less.

Retired journalist James Pettican lives in Palm Harbor. Guest columnists write their own views on subjects they choose, which do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.

[Last modified August 26, 2005, 01:36:21]