TV/Radio

Leave Bearcat garb home, Nick

By JOHN C. COTEY
Published September 2, 2005

Nick Lachey, a.k.a. Mr. Jessica Simpson , hot off the success of his latest album, SoulO (currently the 34,276th best seller at Amazon.com), will join the ESPN College GameDay squad as a regular contributor this season.

We hope he leaves his University of Cincinnati hat at home. Then again, as far as we can tell, it might be the only thing that gives him any street cred with college football viewers. He has been shown, after all, cheering on his Bearcats ad nauseum, meaning, I presume, he likes sports.

Apparently, Nick Carter and Lance Bass were too busy for the gig, leaving Lachey as ESPN's ace in the hole to attract that all-grown-up-now boy band fan the networks crave.

I tried to watch ESPN Hollywood (with host and former Saved by the Bell star Mario Lopez) the other night, and had two thoughts:

1. Wow. This is awful.

2. Remember that time Slater gave up wrestling to become a more well-rounded student, and then became a really good cook in Home Economics, but had to return to the mat to win a bet for Zack and save Screech, who was going to wrestle Valley High star Ninick, whom Slater then beat?

What is the deal with celebrities and sports networks these days? NFL Network will air a fantasy draft at 9 p.m. Tuesday between 10 Hollywood types, and then every Wednesday will check in to see how their teams are doing.

Normally, I might watch something like that out of morbid curiousity. In this case, I'm not sure I recognize any of the (cough) celebrities.

Raise your hand if you know who Michael Vartan, Paul Rudd, Jeff Garlin, Regina King, Larry Joe Campbell, Josh Charles, Jaleel White, Mike O'Malley, Guy Torry or Nick Bakay is.

Okay, so I know the last guy ... and O'Malley. Neither whom I would describe as a star.

Give me Leah Remini, Prince, Dennis Leary, Kevin James, Jason Bateman, Will Arnet, Trishelle from the Real World, Ricky Gervais and Gordon Ramsay, and I'll watch.

Pretty please?

Not that anybody should be listening to what might be the worst radio show in Tampa Bay, but on a late night drive home Tuesday, I got to hear Fox Sports' John Tournour (JT the Brick on 620-AM) promote the ridiculous notion that the best way for the NFL to help New Orleans recover was to tear down what's left of the Superdome and build a new stadium - and pronto.

Not houses. Or schools. Or even some roads.

But a football stadium. Because that's Tournour's life - sports. And what better response to a disaster than something sports-related, like a new stadium. Maybe new uniforms? How about a trade for a linebacker to really bolster spirits?

In Tournour's world, the guy zigzag wading in the French Quarter is wondering:

1. Didn't my house used to be here?

2. Imagine ... a new football stadium for the Saints!

But not in that order.

Tournour should have left the news to the experts, to those with the depth of thinking to discuss tragedy, and stuck to what he knows: reporting on what he sees on ESPN and being a pompous, bombastic, embarrassing bandwagon cheerleader for the Yankees, Raiders and Lakers.

[Last modified September 2, 2005, 02:15:35]