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Much like a TV dinner, the Emmys are bland

By CHASE SQUIRES
Published September 17, 2005

	Ian McShane plays Al Swearengen in the HBO series 'Deadwood.'
	Glenn Close, Michael Chiklis & Anthony Anderson in FX's The Shield. TV: 8 p.m. Sunday on WTSP-Ch. 10.

Without the gunplay of the MTV Video Music Awards or the loopy lunacy of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's Golden Globes, the good ol' Emmys promise glamor, glitz and surprises Sunday, in a staid, safe, mediocre kind of way.

The 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards: They're not your grandfather's Emmys!

Actually, they are.

When the nominations were announced in July, even Academy of Television Arts & Sciences chairman Dick Askin seemed to recognize that the 12,000 voting members of the academy, all of them industry insiders, have gravitated to the usual suspects, year after year.

"We are always concerned about same-old, same-old," Askin said, explaining a new nomination procedure he hoped would infuse some new blood. And still, NBC's Will & Grace picked up 15 nominations.

Askin, in his other job, heads Tribune Entertainment Co., the outlet responsible for Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda, Mutant X, BeastMaster, Family Feud and Soul Train.

His official Academy bio notes: "Prior to joining Tribune Entertainment, Askin was president of Samuel Goldwyn Television. While there, he launched such major programs as American Gladiators, Tales of the Crypt Keeper's Haunted House and Flipper: The New Adventures."

So there's that.

With bland host Ellen DeGeneres and Michael B. Seligman as producer, the stage is set. Seligman has done it all before, 17 times, not to mention his work behind the scenes on television specials CBS at 75, Funny Women of Television and the past five Environmental Media Awards.

Besides, there's something wrong about giving awards for a television season that ended months ago. Are any of these shows still on?

Warm up the Philco, break out the TV trays and invite the neighbors in, it's time for Emmy predictions:

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES: Who should win? Lost (ABC), because its stamp is felt across the new season. Who will win? The West Wing (NBC), the safe pick and a tribute to a dying dinosaur. Six Feet Under (HBO) is too weird, Deadwood (HBO) too gritty and 24 (Fox) had that sticky Islamic terrorist thing.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES: Who should win? Glenn Close (The Shield, FX), since everyone loves a movie star. Who will? Glenn Close, since everyone loves a movie star. Patricia Arquette (Medium, NBC), Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU, NBC) and Jennifer Garner (Alias, ABC) toil in mediocre, low-buzz shows. Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under, HBO) reminds us we are all getting older.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES: Who should? James Spader (Boston Legal, ABC), who's smugtacular. Who will? Ian McShane (Deadwood, HBO), won a Golden Globe, and that alerted Emmy voters to the error of the ways in denying him. Hugh Laurie (House) is on low-brow Fox, Kiefer Sutherland (24) is on Fox, and Hank Azaria (Huff) is where? Oh, Showtime.

OUTSTANDING MADE FOR TV MOVIE: Who should? The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (HBO), only because Sometimes in April was snubbed. Who will? HBO's Franklin Delano Roosevelt biopic Warm Springs, since half the Emmy voters are probably old enough to have voted for FDR.

OUTSTANDING MINISERIES: Who should? Elvis (CBS), starring an Irish guy (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) with a great Mississippi accent. Who will? Empire Falls (HBO) for being the TV equivalent of literature.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE: Who should? Halle Berry (Their Eyes Were Watching God, ABC), for her triumphant return from Catwoman, plus Oprah's involvement in the production. Who will? Halle Berry.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE: Who should? Jonathan Rhys Meyers, where did this guy come from? Wow! Who will? Kenneth Branagh (Warm Springs).

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES: Who should? A Desperate Housewives (ABC) Housewife; three (Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman) are nominated. Who will? A Housewife, pick one, how about Cross? Everybody Loves Raymond's Patricia Heaton (CBS) is too politically active, on the conservative side. And Jane Kaczmarek's show, Malcolm in the Middle (Fox), isn't fading away fast enough.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES: Who should? Jason Bateman (Arrested Development, Fox), tough call against Zach Braff (Scrubs, NBC), but Bateman's nomination probably saved the show from cancellation. Who will? Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond), the safe pick, thanks for the laughs, Ray. Eric McCormack (Will & Grace, NBC) and Tony Shalhoub (Monk, USA) have gone from cute to irritating.

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES: Who should? My Name is Earl (NBC), okay, technically it hasn't even premiered yet, but last year's crop was bleak. Who will? Desperate Housewives, but seriously, is it a comedy? A drama? Do Emmy voters get it?

OUTSTANDING REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM: Who should? The classy Survivor. Who will? The Amazing Race. Race never creates the interpersonal drama of Survivor, but it has more more buzz this year, thanks to Survivor alums Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich's guest appearance. Anyway, it's not like voters want to admit they watch reality TV. Please, just pick anything but American Idol; Fox needs no encouragement in this department.

Now, can we start the new season?

- Chase Squires can be reached at 727 893-8739 or squires@sptimes.com His blog is www.sptimes.com/blogs/tv

[Last modified September 17, 2005, 12:36:36]