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A man with all the answers

The mailbag, unlike the writer, is getting a little stuffed. Let's trim some of the excess.

By JOHN C. COTEY
Published September 27, 2005


FOLLOW THE PROGRESS: Weighing In, John C. Cotey's column about his effort to lose weight, appears Tuesdays in Floridian. His starting weight on July 1 was 250 pounds. To read previous columns and his Web log, The Skinny, please go to www.sptimes.com/skinny

WEIGHING IN: 225.5

You have questions, I have answers. Time to unload my bulging-at-the-seams mailbag.

You look absolutely stunning. Hot, even. I think that pretty much every man wishes he could be you right now, what with the weight loss and the brilliance on the baseball field. Have you ever thought about making a video of yourself just sitting there, so we could all just watch you? That would be hot! Keep it up! - Bryce in Seminole.

Thanks Bryce. I'll run that idea by my representatives.

Bryce is right. You are verrrry hot. - Amber in Largo.

Right back atcha, Amber.

So seriously, do you ever exercise? Like, ever?- Sal in Tampa.

Sal, I'm glad you asked. Yes, I do, but not as much as I should. This week I managed two three-mile walks around the neighborhood and trotted about two miles around the house on Wednesday trying to get the 4-month-old to sleep.

I read your blog religiously, and I saw where you were complaining that all the water you're drinking left you going to the bathroom a million times a day. Be honest, have you ever just wet yourself while sitting at your desk because you were too lazy to get up and go?

- Maurice in Seminole Heights.

Not since I started this project, Mo.

Have you ever tried the "Walk Away the Pounds" video with Leslie Sansone? It is great. You've had it for two weeks now, and I know you have opened it. So why don't you try it? What else do you have to do? Try the darn thing. What are you waiting for? Do it, you lazy little punk. Now.

- Pat in Orlando.

Yes, mother.

Your wife is Vietnamese, so how do you avoid such delicious and exotic cuisine? Or do you?

- Thomas in St. Petersburg.

Two words - fish sauce. Try it sometime.

We're tired of all this breakfast talk. Are you trying to tell me all you eat is oatmeal?

- Alexander in Palm Harbor.

Don't be silly, Sander. For lunch, I typically have ham on oatmeal bread or an oatmeal flake salad, and for dinner usually chicken or oatmeal casserole, and for a late night snack a sugar-free oatmeal cookie.

If you could just go crazy and have whatever meal you wanted right now, what would it be?

- Tip in New Tampa.

Good question. I'd probably start with a big loaf of soft French bread, a cold stick of butter, a gigantic bowl of rigatoni drenched with Parmesan cheese and an ice cold beer. For the main course, I'd have . . .

You cover boxing, preps and do a radio and TV column. Oh, and this column and your blog, too. How do you find time for exercise and family?

- Dong in Madeira Beach.

Dong, you just have to find a way to balance your schedule. It's not easy. I find it works best if I devote 35 percent to preps, 25 percent to boxing, 15 percent to this project, 10 percent to radio and TV, 14 percent driving back and forth from Tampa to St. Petersburg, and whatever is left I devote for family.

Wow. That's some workload. They must pay you a lot of money for all that. And overtime too. Or at the very least, insist you take a few extra days off here and there. Right?

- Robert in Davis Islands.

Hey, I'm supposed to be the funny guy here, Robert, so back off.

Are these real letters, or did you have a column idea fall through this week? Because it sure seems like some of these are fake. Especially the ones that say you're hot. Kind of stretching it a bit, aren't we?

- Your editors in St. Petersburg.

Ummmm . . .

[Last modified September 27, 2005, 12:34:54]


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