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What a way to go

Keen focus and communication replace diapers and potty training tantrums. A dream? Maybe not for a few devoted parents.

By JOYCE WITT
Published October 21, 2005

RIVERVIEW - Potty training. Just saying the words can make parents cringe. What if there were another way?

Katherine Abbey, a Riverview mother of two, says there is an alternative without all the mess.

Instead of traditional potty training, she practices "elimination communication," or EC, with her son.

Also known as natural infant hygiene or infant potty training, elimination communication is the process of tuning in to the signs that babies give to indicate they need to relieve themselves.

"With conventional potty training, we teach our children to go in their diapers from the time they are born and then have to retrain them to not do that," Abbey said. "With EC, that isn't the case."

DiaperFreeBaby, an international network of elimination communication support groups, was founded in 2003 by two mothers in the Boston area to help families discover the benefits of practicing EC.

The organization includes mentors and local support groups in 36 states and 10 countries, including the Riverview chapter started by Abbey.

Abbey potty-trained her first son the traditional way - introducing the potty about age 2. She had heard of elimination communication, but didn't give it much thought.

When pregnant with her second child, Abbey ran across information on the Internet about DiaperFreeBaby. Deciding "diapers are optional," she opted to give it a try with Jason, her second child.

So how does EC work?

The first step is to observe the baby's patterns - how often and what times of the day he (or she) goes, such as after first waking in the morning, or when waking from a nap. Next, take note of any body language or signal he gives, like squirming, or noises he might make.

When you think you can tell when he needs to go, place the baby on the potty. Or if he is too young to sit on it, hold him over the potty.

Some parents even use a sink in the beginning. Then, give the baby a verbal cue such as a "ssssss" sound to let him know this is where he needs to go. Over time, he will associate the sound with the place he needs to relieve himself. Eventually, he may even make the sound himself to let you know he needs to go. Specific words can also be used.

"There is this idea out there that if you don't have a diaper on a baby, he will be peeing everywhere. That's not the case," Abbey said. "It's a matter of being aware of what is going on."

By the time he was 1 week old, Jason was giving signals as to when he needed to be taken to the potty, she said.

"He would squirm, make noise and was becoming more aware of needing to eliminate," she said. "There was definitely two-way communication going on."

Now a year old, Jason is progressing nicely, but nothing is perfect. On a good day, they have as many as two accidents, she said.

The DiaperFreeBaby organization says more parents are turning to the concept because it promotes close communication and bonding between child and parent, creates less stress than conventional potty training, eliminates diaper rash and helps the environment by reducing landfill waste. Fewer diapers also means more money in your pocket.

Parents don't have to banish the diapers completely. Some parents keep them on their child full time, others use them when going out of the house or if having a particularly busy day. If diapers are used, the goal is still anticipating the elimination and catching it before it happens.

"It's a very liberating thought that I can or cannot use them," Abbey said.

Laura Fitzpatrick, another mom involved with the Hillsborough group, began EC with her son Seamus when he was 7 weeks old. He was taking a nap when she first read some information about the topic online. As soon as he woke up, she took him to the potty, and it worked.

Laura uses the "ahhh" sound instead of "ssssss." She said it only took Seamus three or four days before he started associating the sound with the action.

"I could tell he was starting to understand what was going on," she said.

Some parents think babies lack the muscle control needed for this process.

Babies younger than 6 months are unable to sense they have a full bladder and are unable to control their sphincter muscles, said Dr. Sanjeev Tuli, professor of pediatrics at the University of Florida. Therefore, conventional potty training should not be started that early, he said.

Developmental and emotional problems may occur with children if potty training is tried too young.

But as long as parents understand that EC isn't a "training" process, but rather an opportunity to spend more time with their children and become more connected with them, he said he doesn't see any harm in it.

"This is a personal choice," Tuli said. "If parents have the time to devote to it, and it helps the family out, why not?"

Contact Katherine Abbey at 671-5307 or visit www.diaperfreebaby.org

[Last modified October 20, 2005, 10:29:05]