By ERNEST HOOPER, Times Columnist
Published November 11, 2005
In 1989, Lorie Briggs took 11-year-old Kim Pinson Smith to see Batman.
The pair were brought together by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Tampa Bay, and at the time neither one knew they were forming a bond that would change both of their lives.
Kim, who lives in Gibsonton, is now a 27-year-old mother, wife and Verizon repair technician. She credits Lorie, 40, for helping her break her cycle of poverty.
Lorie, who grew up in Brandon, was so enamored with the program that brought her and Kim together that she went to work for Big Brothers Big Sisters and currently serves as its vice president of community relations.
Over entrees at Cheddar's, we talked about the inseparable connection they made 16 years ago, and how they melded Lorie's Anglo background with Kim's Korean heritage.
Pull up a chair and join us.
ERNEST: The radio commercial says if you can burp the alphabet, you can be a Big Brother or Big Sister. But what would you say to people who still worry about matching with their "little?"
LORIE: When I came to Big Brothers, I didn't come with the most altruistic motives in the world. I was looking for a way to pad my resume, to show that I'm young, responsible and mature. I was thinking I would play with the kid and then give her back to her mama. But I was single, and I was thinking all those Big Brothers are men who like kids and have been screened. I'm going to get a new man. You don't have to come into this thinking you have to be a saint-in-training.
Kim, what do you remember about the first meeting with Lorie?
KIM: We went to see Batman, and that was pretty fun. We made fun of people in the audience. We were just being goofy. It helped break the ice. I was nervous, a little terrified, I guess. I'm really shy. I force myself to be extroverted.
How did things progress from that first meeting?
KIM: Everything went great. She became a part of our family pretty much instantly. We would go to places and she would say, This is my little sister. You know, she has blond hair, blue eyes. I have dark hair, dark eyes. People would give us these quizzical looks.
LORIE: She introduced me to kimchi and other dishes, some of which I really liked.
Were there cultural challenges you had to overcome?
LORIE: One of the things I wanted to do was make her proud of being biracial. I hope I did that. She introduced me to things I never knew. When I tell this story, sometimes I start to cry. When I moved into my new house, her mom showed up with this big box of Tide laundry detergent. I looked at her and said, Thanks, Chom. But Kim later explained to me that it was an old Korean tradition that the more bubbles you make cleaning your house, the more happiness you will have. It makes me cry when I think of how little money they had. For the most part, it was cool. When I heard her say, Y'all, I knew I was making an impact then.
Why were you and your sister Jennifer in the program?
KIM: My mother was a single parent raising two girls. She wanted someone to show us there was more to life than a parent who worked three jobs.
What are some of the more memorable things you did together?
KIM: I remember the time you colored my hair sort of back to normal after I used Sun-In. I tried to go from being a black-haired Asian chick to being a blond chick. That didn't work out. It was like pumpkin orange.
LORIE: That's one of my memories: showing up at your apartment and going, Wow . I pretended for about three weeks that I liked it before trying to convince you you should be proud of being Korean. When you said okay, I was really surprised.
KIM: That was after the kids at the bus stop put their sunglasses on to look at me. It was pretty humiliating being in sixth grade and being the butt of everybody's jokes.
Why do you think you guys hit it off so well?
KIM: Lorie is easy to get along with and has great advice. She's a very fun-loving person.
I notice you guys laugh a lot.
LORIE: I didn't come into this for all the right reasons, but I was at her sixth-grade violin recital, and they were awful. They're doing Ode To Joy and it's really bad. I'm out trolling for a man and this is not my idea of a Friday night. She comes off the stage and - this is the moment I think I fell in love with her - she takes me over to get cookies and punch, and she said, "It's the first time I ever had anybody in the audience for me."
KIM: My mom wanted to be there but she was always working. To this day, she says, Mommy cries. Mommy could not be there for you and your sister. I'm like, Mom, we're grown. We can take care of ourselves now. She's pained by that, and I think it haunts her. But my sister and I are both pretty successful in what we can do and we've actually been helping our mom out for the last six years. I'm just thankful I'm able to do that.
Is that thanks to having a Big Sister?
KIM: Where I am in life, I can attribute a lot of that to Lorie's guidance. When you're growing up and you're poor and you have no money, your mother works two or three jobs and at 16 you're working 30 or 40 hours a week, you're not thinking about college. You're not thinking about anything other than how to put food on the table and how to keep a roof over your head. Lorie was there to show me there was more to life than having to work a menial job.
How does that praise make you feel Lorie?
LORIE: You have to give Kim and her mom credit. Her mom had the insight to say I can't do this alone. She had the courage to ask for assistance. She had the courage to work all of these jobs to keep them clothed and fed. And Kim always had to make decisions. I was never there when she was making a choice to do something or not do something. What you hope for, is that when they're making those choices, they think of examples you've shown them.
DESSERT: A postscript from Ernest
Lorie recently shared her story at a Big Brothers Big Sisters benefit breakfast. Kim began to cry during the testimonial because of how far she has come in life. "The whole cycle of poverty and sadness was broken with a little bit of help. It wasn't financial help, it was just being-there help." These days, Kim and Lorie are more apt to swap parenting advice. Kim and her husband, Dorian, have an 8-year-old daughter, Kayla. Lorie and her husband, Don, have a 6-year-old son, Michael, and an 11-year-old daughter, Raychel. In case you're wondering, Lorie did not meet her husband through Big Brothers Big Sisters. She actually picked him up at MacDinton's.
Ernest Hooper also writes a column for the Tampa & State section of the St. Petersburg Times. Lunch With Ernest is edited for brevity and clarity. To suggest lunch partners, call Ernest at 226-3406 or e-mail hooper@sptimes.com
