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Nothing like a little intimidation.
The eight-story red, white and blue monstrosity dwarfed the building next to it. No, not Sen. Mike Fasano and the American flag.
It was an 80-foot-tall, 65-foot-wide balloon filled with 105,000 cubic feet of air. It sat next to the parking lot at Pine View Elementary School in Land O'Lakes on Wednesday morning, and dozens of schoolchildren, and a couple of faculty members, sat admiring it.
A single thought enters the mind after viewing the spectacle: How am I supposed to compete against that?
(Okay kids, there is no giant balloon involved, but you can expect plenty of hot air during this next lesson.)
The Great American Teach-In allowed me and others the opportunity to try to be competitive. It's the day regular folks come to classrooms to talk about their professions, teach a lesson or just read a story to schoolchildren. Last year, more than 1,600 participated at Pasco County public schools.
Close to 50 presenters came to Pine View Elementary, including Jessica and Tom Warren, who brought along the hot-air balloon to show daughter Katlyn's classmates. Fortunately, I addressed another group of youngsters who hadn't seen the patriotic balloon.
Not everyone was as fortunate. A real estate agent drew the unenviable task of following the Warrens' presentation. Jessica Warren was sympathetic. She apologized for being a tough opening act.
The group of students I addressed also heard from a special-events planner, an artist/jewelry maker, a soldier and a hairdresser. Not a hot-air balloon in sight. Whew.
Being a journalist is like being a student, I told the kids. You need to be observant, listen and pay attention to details.
As is my custom, I staged a mock press conference and asked the third- and fourth-graders to assume the role of reporter trying to ascertain information about a fictional skate park.
The questions they posed were enlightening and entertaining. Besides getting the basic facts for a news story, they also obtained enough details to curb any parental anxiety about skateboarding. Here's a sample of their inquiries:
Will there be rules against smoking and drinking at the park?
Will it be safe?
How can you ensure that it's safe?
Will there be a fence around the park?
What if you're caught smoking or drinking? (This kid was obsessing about tobacco and alcohol.)
What if there is a brawl?
Will there be a concession?
What will they sell at the concession?
How many bathrooms will there be?
They had missed a key point in their push for public safety standards. Nobody asked about financing for the park. They did, however, wonder if there would be an entrance fee.
What don't we know? I asked.
Silence.
Anyone know?
Blank stares.
Anyone? Anyone?
Bueller?
Wrong generation. The kids missed the subtle Ben Stein impression. Anyway, would Ferris Bueller take a day off if there were a hot-air balloon at the school?
I finally provided the missing information and in short order the junior journalists crafted leads for their news stories, none of which, as far as I could tell, focused on drinking and smoking. They even met a pressing deadline: finishing before the start of P.E. class.
This week, the older offspring at our house lamented my departure from his Teach-In itinerary. He heard me speak three times in elementary school, but I have yet to venture into his middle school.
The younger child reminded his brother about my trip four years ago to his third-grade class and my observation that he had spent a significant amount of time doodling. The now preteen didn't miss the opportunity to respond.
"It was boring."
That is the wonderful thing about the Teach-In for adults. A trip to the classroom certainly keeps you grounded, even with a hot-air balloon looming just outside.
Reach C.T. Bowen at bowen@sptimes.com or at 727-869-6239.