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Driven to continue driving

By FRANK KAISER
Published November 29, 2005

A few weeks back, a 93-year-old driver struck a pedestrian, severing his leg and killing him. The driver never slowed.

Three miles later he reached the Sunshine Skyway bridge where a toll operator noticed a body lodged in the windshield.

When questioned, the driver said the body had "dropped in from the sky."

Authorities never charged the driver, Ralph Parker, for his involvement in the Oct. 19 accident and never planned to. Parker, who was not injured in the accident, has since died.

Although the question of when elderly drivers become dangerous dumbfounds the Departments of Motor Vehicles across the nation, in Florida the issue is particularly tricky.

Denying seniors' drivers' licenses robs many of a freedom they have enjoyed since their early teens. Back then, we pretty much started driving when our feet reached the pedals, and "no one's going to stop us now!"

Loss of a driver's license is exacerbated by a lack of public transportation. And as we duffers vote in record numbers, the entire issue is a kind of third rail no politician wants to address.

I can't remember the last time my driving was tested by the state. The photo on my driver's license shows some young fellow with lots of hair. Automatically renewed again just last year, my license is good until the end of 2010 when I'll be 77. It's not until we reach 80 that there is a mandatory vision test.

It's all a big joke here. One version: I've sure gotten old. I've had bypass surgeries, hip replacements, even new knees. I'm half-blind and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded and subject to blackouts. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, and have poor circulation. I hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. But thank God I still have my Florida driver's license.

And I say more power to you, Gramps.

Like wearing our pants just under our armpits, driving is a God-given right. If Florida has a constitutional amendment protecting pregnant pigs (and it does), shouldn't we have one protecting the right to drive until we drop?

I want to be buried in my car. Don't you? And I'd be darned disappointed if, during the Rapture, we can't take our vehicles with us.

I'll bet heaven has no silly driving tests for geezers. In that way, it'll be a whole lot like Florida.

- Frank Kaiser is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in Clearwater. His Web site, www.suddenlysenior.com includes nostalgia, trivia, senior humor and 111 Best Senior Links. Write Frank c/o Seniority, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail features@sptimes.com

[Last modified November 23, 2005, 13:54:06]