Print

Email story

Comment

Email editor

Bucs

Bucs' past awaits them in playoffs

By GARY SHELTON
Published December 14, 2005

When the reunion occurs, someone probably will refer to Brad Johnson as a geezer. Old friends are like that. When they finally get together, they razz each other a little.

Gathered around the punch bowl, someone will probably give Joe Jurevicius an elbow into the ribs. Good to see you again, Joe. Good to see you got your speed back.

Now that time has passed, perhaps someone will be happy to see Keyshawn Johnson again. No hard feelings, Key. And how are the flip-flops?

Yep, there are going to be a lot of shared memories when the 2002 Tampa Bay Bucs get together again.

According to the NFL, it's going to be called "the playoffs."

They are here and there, hither and yon, scattered across the map so completely you might look to see if Jonny Gruden's middle name is Appleseed. Watch the highlights on ESPN these days and you feel like Paris Hilton at an awards show: Everywhere you look, there are former loves and broken relationships.

Call them Malcolm's Exes. If you could gather all of them on your fantasy league team, you would be in pretty good shape, although as a fantasy league guy, you would still need to get out more.

Here, then, is a little more proof that heaven loves the NFL. How else are you to explain all of the potential story lines?

Gruden vs. McKay?

Gruden vs. Parcells?

Gruden vs. Dungy?

Remember the last time the Bucs were in the playoffs, which was 147 years or 15 minutes ago, depending on your point of view. In those games, Gruden had to contend with all of his former employers. This year, he will have to contend with all of his former employees.

Gruden vs. Keyshawn?

Gruden vs. Jurevicius?

Gruden vs. Brad?

When you think about the Bucs in the playoffs, and these days, you don't have to apologize for it, it sounds positively delicious. Storylines line up on the left, plot twists on the right and characters go in motion. It's like one of those Brady Bunch reunion specials, only with concussions.

Gruden vs. Lynch?

Gruden vs. Keenan?

Gruden vs. Dunn?

Hey, the Lord of the Rings didn't have this many characters. Any day now, you expect Warren Sapp and Martin Gramatica to join the Rolling Stones onstage at the Super Bowl, just so the old gang can be together again. Who got old? Who got fat? Who got cut because of the salary cap?

Oh, if the Bucs indeed reach the playoffs, there are going to be other storylines, too. There always are. The playoffs could give us Ronde vs. Tiki, Joey Galloway vs. the Cowboys, Chris Hovan vs. the Vikings.

It's odd. In the old days, when the playoffs featured this Buc or that doing well, there was a feeling of bitterness, of betrayal. That's because the Bucs were busy doing nothing at the time. So when Steve Young or Trent Dilfer or Steve Young or a dozen others were winning, it reminded you of how little they had done while they were here.

These days, the feeling seems a little different. This time, the old players won a championship together, and not a Sunday goes by at the stadium where you can't see a few jerseys that still bear their names. Around here, how can you not want Lynch to do well? Or Dunn?

They have gone forth. They have prospered. (Either Tony Dungy or Mr. Spock, who may be the same person, suggested that was a good thing.) Brad Johnson is 6-0 as a starter since taking over the Vikings. Both Dunn and Jones have had 1,000-yard rushing seasons. McCardell, Jurevicius and Johnson have combined for 161 catches and 22 touchdowns. Lynch seems headed toward another Pro Bowl.

Yeah, yeah. It's a shame they aren't here anymore. Blame the salary cap (Sapp, Brad Johnson). Blame injuries (Jurevicius, Gramatica). Blame wrong decisions (Lynch). Blame greed (McCardell). Blame attitude (Keyshawn).

The important thing is the NFL might be getting the band back together. For those who follow the Bucs, it isn't difficult to imagine the perfect scenario.

In the first round, the Bucs play the Cowboys. Before the game, Keyshawn refers to Galloway as a flashlight. The Bucs publicly display Parcells' old contract. Parcells laughs, then inquires about the Manchester United job. Bucs win, 3-2.

In the second round, the Bucs play the Bears. Thomas Jones says that he still loves the Bucs, mainly because they ended up with Cadillac Williams instead of Cedric Benson, who would have been harder for Jones to beat out. Lovie Smith announces he's tired of people making fun of his name. Bucs win, 4-3.

In the NFC title game, the Bucs play the Seahawks. Jurevicius says he never really wanted to leave, he just misunderstood when Keyshawn and Keenan said they were going to the market and asked if he wished to come along. Seahawks president Tim Ruskell, who got his start in the NFL as a Bucs equipment manager, says he is not interested in his old job. Bucs win, 6-5.

In the Super Bowl, the Bucs play the Colts. Peyton Manning says his dad could outthrow Chris Simms' dad. Dungy wonders aloud if he deserves any credit for the Bucs' last Super Bowl, and widespread rioting breaks out among Bucs fans. Bucs come from 28 points behind to win, 103-102.

Sapp dances. Lynch sings. Keyshawn fumes.

Then again, I could be wrong.

[Last modified December 14, 2005, 00:15:15]