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The Navigator

Lord of Dance struts to own ego

By RICK GERSHMAN
Published December 23, 2005

The comparison didn't occur to me before, but now it seems so clear: Michael Flatley and Michael Jackson.

Both named Michael. Both popular, accomplished dancers. Both 47 years old. Both pale white Irish guys.

(Hold it. I'm now told Jackson's not Irish. Sorry.)

Flatley has one blue eye and one green eye. So does Jackson, but they're floating in formaldehyde, and they belonged to the Elephant Man.

There are differences, of course. For example, Jackson stands only a little taller than Flatley, but weighs far less.

While Jackson's exact weight is unknown, educated guesses place it slightly below a bag of Cheetos and slightly above Nicole Richie.

Flatley, meanwhile, was until recently the paunchiest guy ever to regularly perform without a shirt.

Hey, I'm not saying I have a washboard stomach, either, but I don't make my living dancing. And dancing fast.

(Seriously, he must burn 3,000 calories a show. What was that man eating every night for dinner? Fried pork chocolate cheese fondue?)

Granted, Flatley was born in Chicago. And the Irish dancing impresario reportedly is in the best shape of his life right now.

That's probably a good idea when you're pushing 50 and heading up a dance show, specifically the latest edition of Lord of the Dance.

Flatley's production invades the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center - which neighbors the Times' Tampa office - for a three-day run beginning Thursday. Which means I'm going to have a really hard time getting out of the parking lot next week.

Then again, Flatley and his new physique actually won't be here; apparently he's so big he doesn't even have to perform his own performances anymore.

But he's listed as the show's artistic director and I'm guessing that even without him, the Irish dance fans will show in droves. This stuff sells, and it's as critic-proof as you can get.

Which is good, because despite some significant Irish heritage, I'm not exactly into Irish dancing. Irish pubs? Sure. Irish whiskey? You bet. Irish Spring? Once a week, like clockwork.

Still, I have a bit of an issue with anyone who calls himself Lord of the Dance.

It's reminiscent of the aforementioned Mr. Jackson, who went off and named himself the King of Pop. Pompous enough, but at least he'd recorded a million hit singles by that time.

But Flatley calling himself Lord of the Dance is a whole other level of ego.

There are as many types of dance as colors in the rainbow and hundreds of dancers who have achieved fame.

Ask 10 people who their "Lord of the Dance" would be, and you'll probably get 10 different answers. Me? I'm going with the legendary Gene Kelly.

But I know plenty of people who dig Flatley's jig, and far be it from me to deny them their pleasures.

Last week, I mentioned to Times columnist Ernest Hooper that Lord of the Dance was coming to town.

"Really?" Hoop asked, sounding excited.

Dude, you actually like that stuff?

"Naw, I hate it," he said. "But my wife loves it."

That's all I'm saying.

Rick Gershman can be reached at rgershman@sptimes.com or 813 226-3431. His blog is at www.sptimes.com/blogs/tampaarts/

Lord of the Dance performs at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Dec. 30 and 2 and 8 p.m. Dec. 31. Admission is $40 to $62. Call 229-7827.

[Last modified December 22, 2005, 09:27:09]