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For richer or poorer, their love takes root
After eight years together, and in spite of their struggles, a homeless couple stands together, united by the "hand of God."
By REBECCA CATALANELLO
Published December 24, 2005
TAMPA - The bride was radiant. Her tiara sparkled as she walked toward the stage. Her groom waited beneath a lighted archway of white roses.
Hands clasped, he nervously smiled and mouthed to her: "Don't cry. Do not cry."
It may as well have been the finest wedding in the finest church in town. But this union Friday night between Michele Marie McQuigg, 43, and Joe Lamont Brown was special for a very different reason.
It was, Michele likes to say, the "hand of God."
* * *
They almost didn't make it.
After almost eight years together, the relationship that began so fast and seemed so natural, started to crumble. And when the bottom fell out, it took them from stability to homelessness with stunning speed. Her company laid her off in January. Then they couldn't make the $1,000 monthly rent on their Town "N' Country home. Moving to a hotel with their three young children, he took day labor jobs, but that barely paid enough to meet the $46-per-night room rate.
"We talked about separating, him going to Chicago to work," Michele remembered this week. But they couldn't do it. The kids, they need their dad, they thought.
"I'm their big toy," Joe said.
Not that he would claim to have been the best father all the time. He's struggled with drugs and the law. He's gotten physical with Michele before. He regrets it all. And in the hours before his wedding, he winced to think of what he'd done.
But things are changing.
Since coming to Metropolitan Ministries as a family in July, Joe and Michele say they've progressed from broken to mending, from spent to hopeful, from two people with kids to a loving couple with one mind.
"We've been through a lot of bad," Joe said. "Now, it's getting good."
* * *
I love everything about her. She's sweet and educated, smart. She's very faithful. She's a beautiful woman. ... Me and her have a history together. ... When I'm not with her, I think about her constantly, her and the kids. ... When I think about the things she taught me and the things we've been through, I just love her more.
- Joe, 40 minutes before the wedding.
* * *
Michele and Joe met Aug. 8, 1998. She was walking down the street in Ybor City. Joe remembers her "cute little shorts" and the Navy boots she was wearing. He spoke. She was cautious, but he persisted, and she gave him her card.
He called her the next day. And the day after that. And within four months, Michele was pregnant with Ymani.
* * *
When they arrived at Metropolitan Ministries, they had nothing. Joe was battling a charge for illegally turning the power on to their home one night after the electric company shut it off. Christine Long, director of programs for the shelter, remembers wondering if they would make it through.
But Joe started working on his GED and got drug treatment. Michele started taking classes on money management. They started communicating more, falling in love more.
When Mason Dixon, a popular local DJ, named the two of them a recipient of an $800 Christmas gift, Joe decided it was time to make Michele his wife.
He bought six rings and proposed with one, on his knees in the courtyard of the shelter.
* * *
Friday started as wedding days often do: Things went wrong. The CD of music they picked out was ruined, another had to be made. The rehearsal had to be pushed back by the Metropolitan Ministries organizers because of a Christmas party being held at the same time. The delays left Michele a little frantic.
When it was time for the wedding to begin, Ymani, 6, was trying to smile in her white dress with crinoline and lace. But her bun was tight and it was starting to give her a headache.
Jomele, a ringbearer, was sleeping and was carried down the aisle by the ring-bearer assistant, an older boy dapper in a suit.
Michele's son Damian, 12, walked his mother down the aisle with all the confidence in the world.
He'd been waiting for this day.
He's called Joe "Dad" for years. Joe plans on adopting him. "I like the name Brown," Damian said.
* * *
The wedding started at 9:30, a half hour late.
The two exchanged vows quitely in voices only one another could hear. Then they lit the unity candle and summoned their children to the stage.
Joe turned away when he saw Ymani rise to the steps. He wiped his eyes. He placed a ring on his daughter's finger. And another on his son's. And another on his son to be.
[Last modified December 24, 2005, 01:09:13]
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