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Deck us all with songs of folly! Fa la la la la

By HOWARD TROXLER
Published December 25, 2005

A RAISE UPON THE MIDNIGHT CLEAR

A raise upon the midnight clear

The St. Pete Co-un-cil took,

No public there to disapprove

No crit-i-cis-m to brook.

Just re-elected the month before,

Still bathed by vic-tor-y's glow,

'Twas not for public service, then,

They were in it for the dough.

UP ON MY iPOD

Up on my iPod, click, click, click,

A nanobyte of songs I'll stick

Sirius, XM, mp3s,

Wireless and HDTV!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Spend more dough!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Get TiVo!

Digital's the rage today

My VCR is so passe.

I SAW BUSH WIRETAPPING SANTA CLAUS

I saw Bush wiretapping Santa Claus,

Read it in the Sunday New York Times,

No warrant did he seek

'Round the Fourth Amendment sneaked,

If he says it's mil-i-tar-y

there's no Bill of Rights to keep!

I saw Bush wire-tapping Santa Claus,

And Rudolph and the elves along to boot,

Don't you know that we're at war?

Our rules we must ignore

So Bush could wiretap Santa Claus

last night!

O, LITTLE FLORIDA PSC

O, little Florida PSC,

How fast you raise our rates

At the ut-il-i-ties' behest

And customers berate.

Don't worry at the bad press

Or these brickbats now lobbed

In two more years, your payoff, dears,

A private sector job!

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?

(The Ford Amphitheatre Song)

Said the neighbor to the county's board

Do you hear what I hear?

The noise, the noise, decibels so loud

Built too high, now they won't

turn it down,

Approved by you, and they won't

turn it down.

WITH JIM KING, WE JUNKETEERS ARE

(To "We Three Kings")

With Jim King, we junketeers are

Bennett, Jones and Farkas gone far

Fly us to Tor-on-to, do,

We've got no good name to mar.

Oh . . .

Buy our ticket, buy our flight

Buy our ho-tel room tonight

We'll be shameless, we'll be blameless

Our lawyers say it's all right.

RONDA'S WONDERLAND

Ban gay pride from the li-brar-y,

Planned Parent-hood is really scary,

Kill the cable TV, it's too racy, you see

And not allowed in Ronda's Wonderland.

In the winter we'll hire a con-sul-tant,

To tell us how to outlaw being nude,

Spend tax dollars, win

the votes resultant,

And if you disagree, you're being rude!

Throw more books upon the fire

Five commiss'ners are her choir

If you have to be gay

Best in the closet to stay

If you want to live in Ronda's Wonderland.

THE LABEL SONG

(To "The Dreidel Song")

Now, if you want to argue

A point in today's style,

No facts need you to muster

For facts just cause denial

Oh! Label, label, label,

That's how you have to play

Call someone a bad name

And claim you've won the day.

YOU WISH ME A MERRY CHRISTMAS

You wish me a Merry Christmas,

You wish me a Merry Christmas,

You wish me a Merry Christmas,

Or Fox News you'll fear!

No "holiday" cheer will suf-fic-ient be

The heck with all others in so-ci-e-ty!

[Last modified December 24, 2005, 23:42:16]