How to get relatives out of the house
From greyhounds to sponges, from manatees to mermaids, there is an attraction for everyone.
By GRAHAM BRINK
Published December 27, 2005
It's two days after Christmas and out-of-town relatives linger like antsy schoolchildren. The pressure mounts to find something for them to do.
They've already seen the Dali Museum, and Busch Gardens will blow the budget. Only the hardy few want to don a bathing suit and head to the beach in this weather.
What to do?
How about viewing a two-headed calf, or finding out everything you've ever wanted to know about sponges? Maybe some indoor skiing?
It's all available, along with other entertainment gems, right here in the Tampa Bay area.
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For a $1 admission, St. Petersburg's Derby Lane offers up a racing spectacle with a serving of local history. Established in 1925, the track has hosted Babe Ruth and George Clooney. Football great Jim Thorpe once played an exhibition game on the grounds.
In recent years, canine all-stars like Cayman Went and Talentedmrripley have run themselves into track lore.
Even if you don't know a trifecta from a quinella box, observing the eclectic crowd will keep you entertained. Someone sitting near you is making a small fortune. Someone else is losing one. Try to figure out who they are. Then cozy up to the rail and watch the dirt fly as the newest crop of hounds blows by.
Sponges may not be as sexy as greyhounds, but don't tell that to the folks who run Spongeorama in Tarpon Springs. At the museum of all things sponge - natural sponges, that is - time appears to have stopped in the 1950s. As one visitor noted in an online message board, "the dioramas are in a delightful state of decay."
Patrons can view a 50-year-old film on sponge diving that boasts how natural sponges are far superior to their synthetic cousins.
"Real sponges for babies," the film exclaims. "Soft sponges, real sponges, natural sponges!"
Continuing the Old Florida theme, head north on U.S. 19 to Weeki Wachee Springs, home of the famous mermaids.
For years, the 58-year-old theme park has teetered on the endangered list, struggling to keep up with maintenance costs and legal expenses. Still, the clingy mermaid tails and bare midriffs are sure to kick grandpa's pacemaker into overdrive.
If you like your underwater creatures bigger and less shapely, visit the manatee viewing platform at TECO's Big Bend Power Station near Apollo Beach. At this time of year, the sea cows abound in the plant's warm water discharge area. Added bonus: possible sightings of large spotted rays.
On the way back through Tampa, you can also try your hand at the Fortune Bosco Bocce Ball Courts in Ybor City, or grab a balcony seat for whatever is playing at the historic Tampa Theatre.
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Pinellas County's beach communities host an array of unexpected treasures.
Dollar for dollar, the Seaside Grill concession stand on Pass-a-Grille Beach has arguably the best restaurant view in the area. Order a plate of eggs, bacon, home fries and pancakes for $4. Sit on one of the wooden picnic benches and watch for dolphins.
A few miles north, Ted Peters Famous Smoked Fish on S Pasadena Avenue has served up plates of smoked mullet and German potato salad for more than 50 years. The open-air venue has a set of regulars happy to explain the charms of smoking fish. For the fish-phobic, the restaurant also makes mean hamburgers. Peters died in 2003, but his culinary legacy lives on.
After eats at the Seaside or Ted Peters, drive to the nearby, and extravagantly pink, Don CeSar Beach Resort and Spa. Order a mojito at the bar and pretend for an hour or two that you can actually afford to stay in the grand old hotel.
The insomniac crowd can start a new holiday tradition with a viewing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Beach Theater every Saturday at 11:30 p.m. For the uninitiated, it's not a horror film. To fit in, bring unbuttered toast, newspapers, party hats, rubber gloves and a sense of humor. Trust me on this.
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Perhaps you're looking for some friendly family competition.
You could browse the kayaking or scuba departments at Bill Jackson's Shop for Adventure on U.S. 19 while the relatives take turns making turns on the indoor ski slope. You'll likely have to convince the staff that you'll actually buy something.
How about miniature golf? Traditionalists will revel in the austere layout at the Polynesian Putter in St. Pete Beach. For water hazards and live gators, try Congo River Golf on U.S. 19 in Clearwater.
For more Florida sports nostalgia, bring the gang to what is known as the world's largest shuffleboard club, a few blocks north of downtown St. Petersburg. Every Friday night starting at 6 p.m. the courts open to the St. Pete Shuffle, a relaxed gathering spearheaded by 20- and 30-something hipsters. Music and lighted courts included. No talent necessary.
The losers can buy the first round of some rare brew at the nearby Independent on Third Street N. Try a Val-Dieu or a St. Bernardus on tap or delve into the menu of bottled beers from faraway places. Beware of the robust alcohol contents.
The next morning, wake up with a wander through downtown St. Pete's Saturday Morning Market, the state's largest fresh market. Buy a shirt made from bamboo or have barbecue served by a man dressed in top hat and tails. A whole fresh and cored pineapple goes for $2.50.
Some weeks, talking parrots provide the entertainment. You might be lucky enough to see one of street artist Jacob Christiano's poems written in chalk on a nearby sidewalk.
Afterward, stroll a few blocks west up Central Avenue, past the morning regulars at Mastry's Bar and Grill, to the Schakolad Chocolate Factory for a mochaccino made from real chocolate. At $2, it's ambrosia in a mug.
The family oddballs will love the two-headed calf and the 3,500-year-old mummy at the St. Petersburg Museum of History on Second Avenue NE. The museum is also home to some vintage aircraft.
Take in a few of these jewels and you're sure, at the very least, to send your guests home with a good story or two.
--Times news researcher Caryn Baird contributed to this report. Graham Brink can be reached at 727 893-8406 or brink@sptimes.com