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Don't say your thanks; send them

You may be tempted to call, e-mail or even say it in person. But a handwritten note, sent by U.S. mail, is still the way to go.

By ALLIE EILAND, Times X-Team
Published January 2, 2006

Dear Reader,

The holidays are over, and all the gifts have been played with, listened to and, in some cases, broken. But there still is the matter of thanking the person who gave you something.

But many teens and tweens may find themselves in a dilemma: Do they personally write each note or send an all-address-inclusive e-mail quickly thanking the body rather than the individual?

Or do they send thanks at all?

"(E-mails) will be legible (and) they take less time (to write)," said Rob Burns, an 11th grader at Berkeley Preparatory School in Tampa.

That may be true, but old-fashioned snail mail is still in. Yun Stanton, owner of the Beach Drive Papery in St. Petersburg, says her store still sells many thank-you notes, especially around the holiday season. "More people are going back to tradition," Stanton said. "They still like to see handwritten (letters)."

A survey of 1,250 people conducted by American Greetings, the greeting-card company, indicates that despite hectic lifestyles and the convenience of technology, written thank-you notes are still the preferred way for people to express their gratitude.

Rochelle Lulow, American Greetings senior editorial manager and etiquette expert, said it's also important for kids to get into the habit of sending thanks. "It helps to teach children to think beyond themselves and their natural delight in the gifts they've received," she said.

There are countless books devoted to the art of writing thank-you notes to get you started, filled with tips and rules to maintain proper etiquette, like Kate Spade's book, Manners. That book says thank-you notes are a way to "(show) your gratitude" rather than simply stating it.

Some kids are writing thank-you notes - with their parents' encouragement. Eva Shontz, 9, of Tarpon Springs said her mother urged her to write thank-you notes without assistance around the age of 7, and she likes to do it now. "They're fun to write," she said, adding that many of her friends also write thank-you notes after receiving gifts.

Burns, the Berkeley 11th-grader, said he has noticed a decline in the number of thank-you cards he has received as he gets older. "It's (writing thank-you notes) more so just a family affair and less about friends," he said. "My parents know that I thank my friends (for my gifts) when I see them."

While thank-you notes may seem tedious at times, David Kuhnke, a 10th-grader from Tampa, said regular mail is still important. "It helps to send someone a note (who) does not have a computer," he said.

All my best for great thank-you-note writing,

Allie

- Allie Eiland, 16, is in 11th grade at Berkeley Preparatory School in Tampa.

Tips on writing great thank-you notes from Rochelle Lulow, American Greetings senior editorial manager and etiquette expert:

- Timeliness is critical. Send it out between one day and one week after receiving the gift.

- The note should be handwritten. Even if you've thanked the gift-giver in person, it's always nice to send a handwritten note.

- Online greetings (e-cards) are a growing trend, and they are a great way to send immediate thanks. However, they should still be followed up with a handwritten note.

- Addressing the envelope by hand is preferable to using computers and address labels. The handwritten address is much more personal.

- When writing the note, focus on using "you" more than "me" or "I." It shows that the focus of the card is on the gift-giver's generosity.

- Keep it short and sweet. Lulow says you can succinctly greet the giver; express gratitude; talk about using the gift; mention the past, allude to the future; thank them again; give regards.

[Last modified December 30, 2005, 09:38:04]