TAMPA - Not long into Wednesday's debut of the redesigned Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, the audience listened in as singer Jennifer Fuentes told a boy:
"Get ready for anything and everything to happen."
He did.
We did.
It didn't.
For the big premiere at the St. Pete Times Forum, anything and everything turned out to be a lot of the same old thing.
And even the brand new shine wasn't all that shiny. It wasn't all that new.
But, oh, that brand. Now in its 136th year, Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey retains the kind of name recognition that could make a marketing consultant sell her soul. (Too easy, people. Let it go).
Yet entertaining 21st century youths whose attention wavers between MP3, PSP and ADD is a whole other thing. Which is why the old-school circus tried some sorta-kinda new moves this year.
For one, they got rid of the three-ring concept. Heck, they got rid of the ring concept altogether. (Odd, since circus is Latin for - you got it.)
Also, they promised a storyline, somewhat of a nod to Ringling's popular new-age rival, Cirque du Soleil. Unlike Ringling, the Canadian troupe does not do animal acts, and it goes for a more adult audience.
Removing the rings seemed to work well in Wednesday's debut, as the horse riders, clowns, aerialists and other performers shared the arena floor. It was a nice touch.
Kenneth Feld, Ringling's producer and chief executive, told the New York Times the storyline is intended to help families "connect with a story in an emotional way."
Sorry, but that's a load of hooey.
The "storyline" is no more than a pseudo-nuclear family who gets invited to be part of that night's show.
Actors playing the father and son respectively become the night's ringmaster and the audience's proxy, while the mom and daughter get to do - by comparison, at least - virtually nothing.
The few pop culture references salted into the show already are terrifically dated. Over here, a nod to The Matrix (a blockbuster only, oh, six years ago); over there, a play on the moniker Notorious B.I.G. (the rap star's been dead eight years now).
A few more bells and whistles helped flesh out the approximately two-hour show, including a sizable video screen that gave the crowd a close-up look at some of the action.
And the addition of Fuentes, a former American Idol finalist, also helps.
But really, it was the same ol' circus, with a little trapeze action, some dancing elephants and a whole load of clowns.
Probably the night's most popular act was "Madame Shamsheeva," whose act with acrobatic cats, dogs and birds (often simultaneously) would put Bob Saget to shame. But there's nothing new about that.
"For years we've been using the phrase "an all new show,' Feld told the New York Times, "and now we can say we really mean it."
Say what you like, sir, but that doesn't make it so.
