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When two mothers meet, daughter's family expands

One gave birth to Miranda. The other raised her. Thirty-one years later, they met and reflected on the child they both call daughter.

By APRIL SIMPSON
Published January 9, 2006

INVERNESS - Saturday afternoon, minutes before she would meet the birth mother of her adopted child, Ann quietly reflected on the still paintings and drawings that decorate her cozy, two-bedroom home. Then she looked out the picture window and saw five women walking up the driveway, and her calm disposition turned into nervous energy.

"I don't know who's who, and I'm scared," Ann said as she peered at the women. She paced the living room, then met the group at the front door.

There, for the first time, Ann locked eyes with Terri Tuten, the woman who gave birth to the daughter Ann adopted 31 years ago.

The women, brought together by Reunite People, a private investigation agency based in St. Petersburg, met Saturday afternoon to reflect on the child they both call daughter, and on the direction their lives have taken since Miranda's birth.

Ann and Miranda asked that their real names be withheld because not all their family members have been notified about the reunion. Miranda lives out of state and was not present Saturday, but knew the meeting was going to take place. She has never met her biological mother or any other blood relatives.

Ann and Tuten hugged as soon as Tuten, 47, introduced herself. Ann and her mother immediately took pictures with Tuten and Miranda's aunt and sister.

"All right, who's got a tissue?" Tuten asked as the women took a seat in the living room.

Miranda, who was born in St. Petersburg and raised in Citrus County, attended Citrus High School and earned an associate's degree in business at Santa Fe Community College in Gainesville. Upon finding few job prospects in Citrus, Miranda whimsically followed a friend's advice and moved to the Pacific Northwest, Ann said.

Crammed in the living room of Ann's home in the Highlands neighborhood of Inverness, the women looked at pictures of Miranda and considered the similarities and differences between her and her biological family. They agreed that she shares the nose and mouth of her sister, Brooke Furst, 23, and that she inherited fibromyalgia syndrome, a weak muscle disorder, from her biological grandmother. As for her ability to tolerate pain, Miranda must have developed that on her own.

"It's kind of hard for me to see myself in someone else, but it's pretty cool to see these people notice things because I'm an only child," Furst said.

She immediately corrected herself: "I was an only child."

Tuten had Miranda when she was 16. She said she was too young to raise a child, and knew that it would be in Miranda's best interest to give her up for adoption.

Tuten, who lives in Seminole, said she had no idea Miranda grew up so close to her, geographically speaking.

She also said Ann's last name has been a part of her consciousness since Miranda's birth. She thinks she must have overheard doctors discussing the adoption, or saw Ann's name on legal papers.

Late last year, Tuten, a server at a St. Petersburg beach restaurant, shared the adoption story with a co-worker whose mother, Lynn-Marie Carty, is chief executive and founder of Reunite People.

Although Miranda and Tuten had been looking for one another for about 10 years, with Carty's help, they were reunited in a matter of weeks. Miranda and Tuten have communicated by phone and e-mail since then.

Carty called the reunion "a tale of two mommies," but noted that no one can take the place of the parents who raised a child.

"It was kind of stunning. It wasn't threatening," Ann said about being contacted. "I think if (Miranda) had been a teenager and the mother contacted her, I wouldn't have cared for that, but it's just the right time and place. I knew she would be happy about it."

She added: "You have to think about" Tuten. "She was only 16 at the time, and giving this child up for adoption was a hard thing for her. As an older person, you have to sympathize and empathize."

Tuten gently dabbed her eyes during the meeting. She told Ann that she considers her Miranda's parent. "Please don't feel threatened in any way," she said.

Tuten's nerves seemed to calm as she saw more pictures of Miranda and became comfortable in Ann and Miranda's home.

"I'm just thrilled to death that I finally have closure, and she has an extended family now," Tuten said.

Now, Miranda's entire family says they are waiting for her to come home and reunite with them.

[Last modified January 9, 2006, 00:56:11]