Kwan can hear her body talking trash
By GARY SHELTON
Published February 12, 2006
TURIN, Italy - Her body is talking to her.
From the sound of it, it is saying some particularly nasty things.
Did you hear that? Michelle Kwan stumbles, and her sore groin whispers that perhaps she will not be ready for these Olympics after all. She falls, and her stiff torso reminds her that she is getting on in years. She cuts short her practice, and her bad knee suggests that it is time to step aside.
That's the problem with inner voices. Sometimes they feed the doubts. Sometimes they join in the criticism.
Take Saturday morning, when Kwan's body parts would not shut up. Every mistake of a botched practice was a roll call asking whether taking her shortcut to the Olympics was worth it. How does the heart vote? The leg muscles? The conscience? And why won't the feet land straight?
For a woman who talks about listening to her body, there was much to talk about. Kwan struggled mightily in her first practice in Turin, missing on four of her five jumps. She was visibly upset, leaving the ice 15 minutes before her practice session was scheduled to end.
In other words, the spotlight on her returned, the odds against her increased, and the controversy about her was revived. Would even Wayne Gretzky bet on the odds of her reaching the starting gate for her Feb. 21 competition?
As for Kwan, 25, she doesn't sound sure herself. After her practice, Kwan sounded frustrated, perplexed. Frankly, she sounded like a woman considering the next exit ramp.
Yes, she said, she would consider dropping out of the Olympics.
"Physically, if I am not able to skate, I would give my spot up," Kwan said. "Dropping out is not something I want to do, but I have to listen to what my feelings are.
"You always have options. I want to listen to my body. Anything my body does, any sound it makes, I am aware of."
And so the saga of Kwan's moonlight skate continues. You thought the noise was over, didn't you? After the USOC opened a back door for Kwan to make the Olympic team, and after she skated through it, you thought all that remained were smiles and sequins and that sweet slide toward a happy ending. Didn't you?
Hah. This is figure skating, the sport where they use controversy to sharpen the skates. Advice to Emily Hughes, the skater who was bumped from the team to make room for Kwan: Keep your passport handy.
Kwan has a week to decide. Rules allow the United States to apply to replace her before Saturday. After that, if Kwan dropped out, no substitute would be allowed.
If it were not for controversy, of course, Kwan would not be here at all. She was named to the team last month despite missing the national championships because of injuries, just as she had missed most of the competitions of the previous year. It was short-cut qualifying at its best, a wink-wink, nudge-nudge, closed-door agreement to find a spot for perhaps the most popular skater in U.S. history.
This will turn up the volume on the controversy. It would have been one thing if Kwan had shown up polished and ready to compete. Over her career, Kwan has shown she is capable of brilliance no matter the expectations. If she had given a good performance, even Hughes would have cheered.
Look, there would be no sweeter story at the Olympics than Kwan, the five-time world champion and nine-time national champion, finally winning an Olympic gold medal. She is a diva who cannot hold a news conference without getting fawning questions from Access Hollywood and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno . After a while, even Kwan must get tired of exchanging giggles.
But when an exemption looks as unsteady, and perhaps as unhealthy, as Kwan did Saturday, it magnifies the situation. And it renews the questions of why Kwan is here to begin with. If Kwan isn't ready to go, it will leave the USOC looking as if it caved in to sponsors and NBC. Unfortunately, it may also tarnish the legend Kwan has spent a dozen years cultivating.
Part of Kwan's practice problems, she said, were because of stiffness after she took part in Friday night's Opening Ceremonies. That's a long time to stand in the cold. But even Kwan wondered if the knee and the groin injuries that have nagged her played a part.
"It's been a struggle for me," Kwan admitted. "That's what's so frustrating about having an injury. It's not something that goes away and vanishes. When you're waking up stiff, you wonder, is it coming back? Injuries don't just vanish. Mentally, it has been a challenge."
In other words, as Kwan admitted, "I'm not 13 anymore."
If she asks her body, the parts would agree. Oh, if she is healthy, her fingers would love to grip another medal. Her lips would love to smile one more time. Her eyes would risk weeping.
If she isn't, however, it is time for her to raise her hand and wave goodbye.
If she isn't, it is time for her to get her keester out of here.