Commentary

Faceoff

Are you paying attention to the Winter Olympics?

By Times staff writers
Published February 19, 2006

ADMIT IT, THIS REALLY ISN'T ALL THAT BAD

I had a revelation the other day, and its name was "snowboard cross." Or, as it is called in some parts of the country, "Alaskan Roller Derby."

For those who didn't watch Thursday night's action - and, judging by the television ratings, that makes most of you - the sport consists of everything your mother told you not to do as a child. Participants fly down a snow-packed track at speeds reaching 40 mph, hitting jumps, banging bodies and following mysterious blue lines that may have been created by soggy urinal cakes.

You may live the rest of your life - at least the next four years of it - without seeing something similar. But that's the beauty of the Olympics. For 17 days, men and women from across the planet are able to join together and collectively ignore the fact that their skill sets have no redeeming value in the real world.

I'd rather watch back-to-back episodes of Dr. Vasectomy than an hour of figure skating. And I'm upset that the Office is shelved for a few weeks. But otherwise, what's so bad about these Olympics?

- DAVID MURPHY