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Author encourages search for true self

Staci Backauskas points out how our culture dissuades authenticity and how to fight back.

By HELEN ANNE TRAVIS
Published February 24, 2006

There's danger in fairy tales. It doesn't come from the ogre under the bridge or the giant on the top of the beanstalk.

Instead, says Staci Backauskas, the harm comes from the stereotypes these tales promote to children. Boys have to live up to the image of the handsome prince. A girl is told she must await the kiss of the prince to raise her from her misery.

It's a heavy load for those still in diapers.

On Saturday at 2 p.m., Backauskas will speak at the Brandon Barnes & Noble to promote her "Beyond the Image Box" program. She will speak on the difference between being who we think we should be vs. being who we actually are.

Her "Beyond The Image Box" presentation encourages self-discovery and honesty with frank discussions and awareness-building workshops. She challenges the messages people receive from the fashion and entertainment industries and cultural "standards" imposed by the media.

"Our culture makes it difficult to be authentic," said Backauskas. "We're so afraid to be who we really are, but that's where the real power is."

Backauskas draws from her own experiences in the presentation. As a child, she was the victim of incest. Her personal life has been peppered with panic attacks, rejection, disappointments and a whole lot of personal growth.

"When I go to speaking engagements, I am not trying to change someone's life," Backauskas said. "I just want to share my insights, humiliations and mistakes so you don't feel so alone."

Backauskas spent years working in the male-dominated New York advertising scene in the 1990s.

"There were a couple of incidences where I needed to demand an apology," she said.

She worked for high-profile companies like Young and Rubicam, Foote, and Cox Broadcasting. In 1998, she left her six-figure salary to complete her first book, The Fifth Goddess, a biographical "spiritual fiction" book that addresses the conflicting voices in our heads.

"I had been writing for a long time," said Backauskas. "I have the warped, prepubescent poetry to prove it."

Her ego pumped up by her agent, Backauskas crashed when no publishing company picked up the book.

"I felt like Humpty Dumpty," she said. "I was all broken."

She attempted a trip across the country but ended up landing in Tampa, the first stop of her journey. She stayed with a friend from high school and the friend's husband and children. The two toddler-aged children inspired Backauskas.

"The kids were so pure," she said. "They took such pleasure out of things we don't allow ourselves to enjoy as adults."

As she watched the unadulterated pleasure the children took in experiencing a new flavor of ice cream or riding a camel, Backauskas began to heal, she said.

"Beyond the Image Box" was born from her experience putting herself back together again, she said.

"When I lived as a compilation of my experiences, not based on who I was, it got uncomfortable for me," she said.

Backauskas' other books include Where the Fat Girls Haven't Gone, a fictitious commentary on plus-sized women, reality television and career choices. She also wrote two career guides, The Nitty Gritty Tool Kit for Career Transition: A Practical Guide for the Downsized, Outsourced, and Displaced, and Desiree's Dream Job, the story of a doll who wants to become a mermaid and a guide for intentional career change.

Backauskas is also starring in the Vagina Monologues at the Tampa Improv on Tuesday at 8 p.m. The show benefits The Spring, a domestic violence prevention organization in Tampa.

Helen Anne Travis can be reached at 661-2439 and at htravis@sptimes.com

Staci Backauskas will speak on "Beyond the Image Box," a program about self-awareness and discovery, at 2 p.m. Saturday at the Brandon Barnes & Noble bookstore.

[Last modified February 24, 2006, 13:06:13]