Print

Email story

Comment

Email editor

Spend time now, save worries later

Keep control over where - and how - you will live later in life by making some key decisions now. It'll make the transition happier.

By NANCY PARADIS and TOM VALEO
Published March 28, 2006

John Bregger learned this lesson the hard way: Start planning - long before you think you need to - about where and how you will live in old age. If you wait, a crisis may force you to turn your fate over to a family member, or even a stranger.

Bregger wishes he had already learned this lesson in 1962, when his father died.

His father had worked at the state's Agricultural Research Station in Belle Glade, on the southeastern shore of Lake Okeechobee. As a state employee, the senior Bregger was not entitled to Social Security, and after he died, John's mother discovered that his father's state pension would end.

The elder Bregger had done enough consulting work on the side to qualify for the minimum Social Security pension, which his wife would continue to receive, along with his modest veteran's pension. But together that provided only a couple hundred dollars a month, so her children helped supplement her meager income.

Then, at the age of 91, Mrs. Bregger went to live with John and his wife, Lola, in Maryland.

"The move was because she was not taking care of herself," recalls Lola Bregger. "She was 91, but she looked like she was 210."

She added: "As soon as she started getting three good meals a day, and more protein, she changed."

When John and Lola retired and moved from Maryland to Venice in 1991, his mother moved with them. As she approached 100 and required more care than her son and daughter-in-law could provide, they moved her into an assisted living facility. Medicare would have paid for a nursing home, but she did not need that help, so John and Lola paid for the ALF.

After that experience, John and Lola vowed they would plan for their old age, so that their children wouldn't be forced to take care of them.

"We were aware of what happens to elderly people through her," John said recently.

John and Lola, who are now 75 and 73, were determined to provide for themselves. But how?

If they wanted to stay in their own home, as John's mother did, they would have to find a way to maintain the premises as they aged. They would also need to plan for in-home health care if they became infirm, followed, perhaps, by a move to a nursing home.

If the Breggers downsized and moved into a condo, which would minimize maintenance responsibilities, they still would face the same challenge of planning for nursing care - if they ever needed it.

The same with moving into a larger retirement community: That would provide them with plenty of friends their own age, and lots of activities, but no prepaid nursing assistance should they require it.

They were still healthy and vigorous, so they didn't need an assisted living facility.

While mulling their options, John and Lola started checking retirement communities for his older sister, who was thinking of relocating to Florida from Seattle. One community they

visited was Westminster Communities in Bradenton.

They looked at a condo that was new and partially furnished.

"Lola and I looked at each other and blinked," recalled John. "We did not say anything until that night, and then, 'Wow!' "

Moving to such a community would insulate them from the potentially catastrophic expense that can result from illness or disability. If they moved to Westminster, they could continue to live independently, but if their health declined, they could take advantage of the assisted living, rehabilitation and nursing facilities nearby.

When they considered the potential expenses that would be covered if they made the move, they decided Westminster, despite the initial expense, was a reasonable choice.

The real estate boom meant they would get a good price for their home in the Waterford Golf Club in Venice. They would miss their friends, they realized, and John would miss the convenience of walking across the street to play a hole or two of golf.

But they wanted to move immediately, while they were still healthy and active.

When asked after their move if they have any regrets, they answered, "absolutely none." As Lola said, their decision will enable them to avoid "dumping this (elder-care concern) on our sons."

*   *   *

Westminster is an example of a continuing care retirement community that offers an active lifestyle for its residents but also provides support and services as residents become infirm.

As a result, many people tend to dismiss such communities as fancy nursing homes. Not true, says Jacque Bowen, regional marketing manager for Westminster Communities of Florida.

Those critics "don't realize the majority of our seniors are very active," Bowen said.

She points to Suncoast in St. Petersburg. It is one of the 11 continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs) operated by Westminster. There, the average age is 86, and Bowen said many residents tell her they wish they had made the move years earlier.

"The best time to make the move is in your mid 70s, when you're thinking clearly," she said.

She said she has seen many problems arise when people who postponed the downsizing decision suffer a fall or some other situation that makes independent living impossible. The children, who often live out of state, are called in but don't know what to do, Bowen said.

In cases where no family member is available, a hospital case manager typically is charged with making decisions regarding where the last years of life will be spent.

*   *   *

Some people, however, choose a CCRC not because they're worried about infirmity in the future, but because they want to live their life fully in the present.

That's what inspired Inaclaire "Chuchie" Weissman to move to the Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay in South Pasadena.

After her husband died of melanoma in 1980, Weissman continued living in their condominium on Isla del Sol. She continued to play tennis, sail, fish and travel. Her favorite trip was a safari in East Africa.

Still, over the years, most of her friends from the condo died or moved to be closer to their families. It got "pretty lonely," she recalls.

So one morning she got up, she said, and decided: "This is it - I'm going to sell my condo and move."

She began looking at retirement communities, and her primary consideration was the number of activities each offered.

The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay had the additional advantage of being close to her two sons.

So she downsized and moved into a one-bedroom apartment. Weissman, now 81, says she doesn't miss all the possessions she gave up: "What you don't have, you don't miss."

After nearly a year at the Fountains, she is quite pleased with her decision.

"My kids say they don't see me anymore, I'm so busy," Weissman said.

*   *   *

Of course, living in a retirement community is not for everyone.

For instance, it wasn't right for Floyd Brown.

After he retired from his career as a plastics engineer, Brown promised his wife he would move to her native Puerto Rico, because she had followed him all over North America during his career.

Because he wasn't sure he would like living year-round in Puerto Rico, he also bought a condo in St. Petersburg, where they planned to spend each October.

But when his wife developed Alzheimer's disease, Brown said, living in Puerto Rico in a six-bedroom beachfront house became impossible. They moved to the condo, partly to be near her specialist, who practiced in the Tampa Bay area.

When her disease progressed, Brown moved with his wife to a one-bedroom garden apartment at Westminster Suncoast. Then, when she needed the care available in a nursing home, Brown moved to a less-expensive apartment. But he was now paying $4,000 per month for the nursing home and $2,000 a month, including a maintenance fee, on the apartment.

Brown liked living with his wife at Suncoast because everything was planned, but after her medical needs increased, "I didn't need the same regimentation and schedule, with the three daily meals at exactly the same time," he said.

In addition, he was uncomfortable that so many residents seemed to be dying.

"I would be eating with someone on Wednesday, and on Friday they'd drop dead," he said. "Everyone was walking with a walker or a cane, or they soon would need one."

His wife died. Then Brown, now 78, decided retirement community living was not for him.

But he also recognizes it may become right for him at some point in the future.

"If I lose the capacity to do for myself, I may have to move back," he said.

[Last modified March 28, 2006, 09:13:12]