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Stop arguing with aging parents
By TIMES STAFF WRITER
Published March 28, 2006
There comes a time for many adults when they realize they are increasingly at odds with their parents - and not over lesser matters such as spoiling the grandchildren or what sort of approval rating the president deserves. There are many significant issues: remarriage, either for the parent or the child; when the parent should stop driving; sibling disagreement about providing help for the parent; the parent's refusal to acknowledge the need for regular care or a move to an assisted living facility. Some to-the-point guidelines for resolving such issues are in the second edition of Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? Getting to Yes With Competent Aging Parents (Self-Help/Family, $16.95 paperback). The authors are Joseph Ilardo, a licensed clinical social worker, and Carole Rothman, a licensed clinical psychologist. The book offers problem-solving models for 25 common situations that create controversy among people who may see their roles in life reversed. Basic steps include getting both sides to agree a problem exists, ways to analyze the options for solving the matter and how to measure success in reaching the agreed-upon goal. Maintaining open communication and patience are keys for everyone involved.
[Last modified March 28, 2006, 09:03:03]
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