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In a bag of duds, she found the love spud

Sharon Hynes isn't sure what to do with her heart-shaped potato. Bake it? No. Sell it on eBay? Not an option.

By MICHELE MILLER
Published May 7, 2006

Who's to know when it comes to matters of the heart?

Even the Russet Potato kind.

Laugh if you will, but that too can be a quandary, especially for a sentimental romantic sort who after seven months still finds herself captivated with one of Mother Nature's near perfect, random creations.

That would be Sharon Hynes, 59, of New Port Richey. She still doesn't know what to do about the heart-shaped spud she dug out of a 5-pound bag in October while checking for spoiled ones after her weekly shopping trip at the local Winn-Dixie.

Though she'd come across an occasional oddly shaped cucumber, tomato or pepper in the days when she and her husband, David, 60, used to tend a backyard garden in Illinois, she'd never seen anything like this.

"I thought, "Oh, my God! Look at this potato!" she said, reliving the moment.

This, indeed, was no ordinary potato.

It was robust and well rounded where it should be; smooth and sturdy with none of those little white eyes popping out.

The potato could serve as a nice side for one of those heartwarming meals prepared for Sunday dinner. No doubt it would taste delicious baked and stuffed with butter or sour cream and chives or perhaps cooked au gratin alongside a fine baked ham.

Even so, said Mrs. Hynes, "I wasn't going to cook it."

Instead, she decided to take a chance with her heart-shaped potato.

She placed it on top of a pile of others in a hanging wire basket by the back door, where she knew her husband would find it when he went to make his dinner that night while she was out at bingo.

Like other long-married couples, the Hyneses have endured their share of ups and downs, and she wondered if after all these years he'd even notice her heartfelt message.

Not to worry. When she arrived home, there was the potato heart sitting safe and sound on the kitchen table right where her husband knew she would find it.

After 43 years, he certainly knew better than to mash her heart - to slice it or dice it and fry it just the way he liked his spuds cooked best.

"I'd have been thrown out," he said with a chuckle.

That was fun and sort of romantic, but the question still remained: What to do with such a splendid potato?

Answer: Take a picture and send it to your mom in Illinois who wants proof of its existence because she thinks you are going a little crazy, Mrs. Hynes said.

Show it to your friends, neighbors, their kids and the bingo players you see every week so you can seek their advice.

"Dip it in polyurethane so you can keep it forever and ever," someone told her.

"Seal-a-meal-it," someone else advised.

"Sell it on eBay," a lot of people said.

That might be a thought. After all, there was all that fuss over the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich that reportedly sold for $28,000.

But the other heart-shaped potatoes up for auction on eBay last week were stuck with opening bids of 99 cents.

Besides, the Hyneses would have none of that. There would be no online dealings for this spud. That could just lead to a world of heartache, Mrs. Hynes said, relating the story of a friend whose own heart was crushed when his wife ran off with the cyber lover she met online.

So, Mrs. Hynes simply wrapped her potato heart up tightly in a sheet of Glad Press and Seal and placed it in the vegetable crisper in her Frigidaire.

Then she forgot about it.

Didn't even take it out for Valentine's Day.

But a couple of weeks ago, while watching Bay News 9, she saw a newscast about a woman in California who had found another heart-shaped potato.

"Mine is better than that," Mrs. Hynes said. "Her potato had all these lines all over it."

Right away, she called Bay News 9 to see if they wanted to take a look at her potato.

"They didn't seem interested," she said. "They told me they'd call me back if they were doing a segment on potatoes."

On her way to Tarpon Springs that day she decided to stop by the St. Petersburg Times' Port Richey bureau.

That's one fine potato, we told her.

"What do you think we should do with it?" she wanted to know.

Sell it on eBay?

No way.

"It's going back in the icebox," she said, as she gently wrapped it back up. "It's amazing. After all this time it's just as hard as the day I put it in there."

[Last modified May 7, 2006, 21:00:05]