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Moms deal with kids growing up

Women celebrate Mother's Day as their children prepare for college and leave the nest.

By JEFFREY S. SOLOCHEK
Published May 14, 2006

She's got time set aside to celebrate her 23rd wedding anniversary with her husband, Steven. She'll perform with the Florida Orchestra, where she's a harpist. She'll cheer her daughter Julie's coming graduation at Gaither High School's baccalaureate program.

In between all that, Roberts intends to sit back and let her family treat her right.

She plans to take full advantage of the day because she knows that come next year, Mother's Day might not amount to much more than a card and a phone call. Life changes when your children finish high school and move on.

"It's going to be bittersweet for sure," says Roberts, whose son David attends Rollins College in Winter Park. "I'm happy. I love this age. I love them being teenagers. But I'm sad because they're making decisions on their own and being independent and don't need me like they used to. It's hard."

Barbara Muffly can relate.

Her only child, daughter Clare, graduates as Chamberlain High valedictorian on May 22 and heads to St. Olaf College in Minnesota come September.

"It's going to be a vacuum without this kid," Muffly says. "She's so wonderful and comforting. I'm going to miss that."

She tries to overlook the bitterness in favor of the sweet that Clare has given her over the years. Clare has helped her mom with picking out clothes and choosing the right makeup, things Muffly says she would not ask of husband, Karl.

Clare has opened her mother's eyes to politics in Eastern Europe, not to mention here in Florida, where Clare helped write and promote a bill through Rep. Kevin Ambler's "There ought to be a law" contest.

"She even has got us listening to reggaeton, which we really enjoy," says Muffly, who also enjoys picking her daughter up from school daily and sharing a weekly pizza girls' night out with her. But part of being a mom is letting go. Muffly plans to fill the time by taking her daughter's place on a fencing team, getting involved in dragon boat racing and joining a book club, among other endeavors.

"I don't see it ending, and so many people do," Muffly says of her role as mother.

"I think there's different stages in growth for the children. This is just different, more hands off. I'm just being amazed at how wonderful things are."

Roberts agrees.

"It's so important they go away to college," she says even though, as a school volunteer, she became accustomed to seeing Julie every day at Gaither.

This year she put in more than 1,100 hours as Gaither High's PTSA president. "I've done this for 15 years," Roberts says.

She describes a closeness other parents would envy. And although Julie will attend the University of South Florida in the fall, the relationship is bound to change.

The Roberts family plans a trip this summer. And Roberts intends to savor the other days as well.

"Next year for Mother's Day, they may not be here," she says. "I'm glad to have them all nearby now."

Jeffrey S. Solochek can be reached at 813 269-5304 or solochek@sptimes.com.

[Last modified May 14, 2006, 10:48:13]