Hatin' on McGraw because ofhis Faith
By RICK GERSHMAN
Published June 2, 2006
I like Tim McGraw.
I mean, I have to like him.
Because otherwise I'd hate him. And I'm just not a hatin' kinda guy.
Hey, that could be a Tim McGraw song: Not A Hatin' Kinda Guy.
The country music superstar does have one highly hateable aspect.
See, you might have heard that McGraw is married to another country music superstar, Faith Hill, who remains a super-hottie even though:
A) She's pushing 40 (as of next year);
B) She's had, like, eight kids;
C) She's married to Tim McGraw.
Kidding! She and Tim have three kids, and Tim's reportedly a great guy.
I might as well just face up and admit it, because it's not like slamming the guy's going to send her racing into my arms.
But, just in case:
It's email@example.com my sweet little Faithy Poo.
And hey, my office is just a mile from the St. Pete Times Forum, where you and Tim are performing tonight.
So if by chance you get a little free time during Tim's set, I'll be here waiting.
Besides, it's not like you haven't heard I Like It, I Love It a million times before. You've heard Over and Over, well, over and over.
And really, Nelly does all the heavy lifting on that tune. Will Nelly be at the show tonight?
Didn't think so.
All I'm asking for is a little private set here in the newsroom. And don't worry, I'll have you back in plenty of time for your duets with Tim, Like We Never Loved at All, and all those other tunes where you pretend he's cuter than I am.
That's cool. You have to maintain the cover. I understand.
And if you get tired of singing The Way You Love Me while looking longingly into my sparkling blue eyes - hey, these contacts aren't cheap - swing back to the Forum and show the fans a little love too.
Because I know I need to share you, my Audrey Faith Perry. (See, I took the time to Google your real name, because you mean so much to me.)
And I guess I also need to share you with your, um, husband because he wears a cowboy hat and can grow a mean goatee, so I'm pretty sure he can kick my butt.
Regardless, it's easy to explain a visit to the Times newsroom instead of the Times Forum.
Just tell Tim you got confused - trust me, everyone else does - and come see Big Rick, a.k.a. Your Biggest Fan Unless You Include The Ones Who Actually Buy Your Albums.
If you need help, just e-mail me, and I'll provide directions. It's no problem, babe.
Hey, they don't call me The Navigator for nothing.
IF YOU GO
Tim McGraw & Faith Hill Soul 2 Soul II, St. Pete Times Forum, tonight at 8. Tickets are $86.75, $61.75 and $41.75. Call 287-8844.