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Vote for Billie because she's one of you, and she's one of us, too

By ERNEST HOOPER
Published June 9, 2006

The Times has come to a crossroads in writing about this year's race for honorary mayor of Brandon.

With Brandon & South Shore Times general manager Billie Smith vying for the title, we could provide unbiased, fair and balanced coverage of her race against local health store manager Lela Lilyquest. We could earn praise for our neutrality from the Columbia Journalism Review and the Poynter Institute.

Or we could unabashedly root for Billie.

Guess which option we're going to choose. Here's a clue: Go Billie.

Come on, most people already are convinced we use our considerable influence to impact the outcome of the elections. Sure, of the 167 candidates we've endorsed over the last five years, only two have actually won. In East Hillsborough, only one candidate we've endorsed in the last 20 years has finished atop the voting, and that was for dog catcher.

Still, everyone believes our left-leaning philosophies have permeated every facet of the electoral process, even though Republicans control the White House, the Governor's Mansion, the Legislature and the sewage treatment department. Shoot, we can't even take credit for torpedoing Katherine Harris' U.S. Senate bid, can we Gov. Bush?

So today, we end the pretense. We not only publicly endorse Billie, we're baking fruitcakes shaped like the Kremlin for her next fundraiser.

Why are we coming clean? For Billie, of course. She's great. Plus, with her serving as mayor, our Brandon circulation is likely to increase by at least three subscriptions.

Hey, you try selling this paper in a place so Republican they're trying to bring Barry Goldwater back to life.

In three short years, not only has Billie done a great job as general manager of the Brandon & South Shore Times, she has ingratiated herself to the Brandon community -largely because the paper gave her a boatload of money to sponsor events.

She is warm, sensitive and caring, just like all the other bleeding-heart liberals at this paper.

Billie hasn't lived in Brandon very long, but in so many ways, she is one of you. Raised in Taylor County, Billie brings rural practicality to community efforts. With a degree in English from Florida State University and nearly three decades in the newspaper business, Billie carries a level of expertise that says, "Hey, we're not a bunch of dumb hicks out here."

See, Billie's no-nonsense outlook is the same that has guided many of our longtime residents. Like so many concerned citizens, Billie is a doer. All you have to do is spark her interest in a worthy cause, and her passion takes care of the rest.

Billie has become active in the Rotary Brandon '86 club, and she is incoming president of Brandon Presidents' Roundtable, which produces the Fourth of July parade each year. She also is chair-elect of the Leadership Brandon Alumni Association and serves on the board of the Greater Brandon Chamber of Commerce.

And she's juggled all of that while being a wife and mother of two.

Equally impressive is her ability to inspire others to help. She's got an irresistible combination of feminine beguile, Southern charm and big-hearted love. And if that doesn't work, she just threatens hellfire damnation.

Trust me, as someone who Billie frequently convinces to speak at events, it's not easy to say no to her.

When I've needed to bend her ear about a problem, I've called on her and she has never closed the door. She has lectured me like a Catholic nun, but she never has closed the door.

Of course, if the liberal ways of the Times are too much for you to stomach, you can always vote for Mrs. Lilyquest, because she's about as conservative a health food store owner as you're going to find around here.

If Billie lands the coveted title as Brandon's honorary mayor, she will raise charitable funds, attend ribbon cutting ceremonies and issue proclamations. She also will mow your yard, wash your car and bail you out of jail, but not necessarily in that order.

That's all I'm saying.

Ernest Hooper also writes a column for the Tampa & State section of the Times. He can be reached at 226-3406 or hooper@sptimes.com.

[Last modified June 8, 2006, 13:22:46]