Motorsports

Speed Read

By Times Staff
Published June 24, 2006

In the June 26 issue of TV Guide, fictitious NASCAR legend Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) offers some insight into the mind and life of a racer that his counterparts never share:

What's it like to run at Daytona International Speedway?

It's the Holy Grail of all racetracks. I cannot sleep for weeks before a race there. And I literally mean weeks. I used to hallucinate from lack of sleep. I'd see robot spiders on my arm and start losing my mind. Fortunately, now there's Ambien. So now I just binge-eat in my sleep. Which is why I now keep a roast beef carving station next to my bed.

Who do you get along best with among the other drivers?

Dale Jr. and I once spent a crazy weekend in Tijuana together. I won't go into details, but I will say it involved a flare gun, a toupee and a football helmet full of toxic frogs. Fortunately, I was able to have the tattoo of Sebastian Bach lasered off my back.

Is losing your greatest fear?

No. It'd be like, "What if there were, like, zombie sharks?" So they were sharks but stronger, and you couldn't kill them and they . . .

I mean related to racing.

OK. It would be to duel a black mystery car in the straightaway, and I can't see who the driver is and I can't beat it. And then finally I pull ahead and defeat it, and the driver steps out and removes his helmet and the driver is - me! Isn't that terrifying?

VARIOUS ODDITIES

AQUA SOCKS, PLEASE: Semiretired former series champion Bill Elliott will be at Infineon Raceway this weekend in case Scott Riggs' feet are too sore to allow him to drive. Riggs needed 12 stitches on his left foot and eight on his right big toe after he jumped onto a submerged oyster bed trying to launch his personal water craft on Monday.

TROPHY CASE: The Third Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Wednesday against artist Matthew Scharle, who was seeking credit or $2-million from NASCAR in supposed business loss from his work designing the Nextel Cup championship trophy. He worked as an independent contractor for the Franklin Mint in 2002-03.

WHO'S DRIVING THE BIG BROWN TRUCK? UPS is expected to announce it is leaving Robert Yates Racing's No. 88 Ford next season (just like driver Dale Jarrett) and could switch to Kasey Kahne's No. 9 Dodge at Evernham Motorsports or Greg Biffle's No. 16 Ford at Roush Racing.

[Last modified June 24, 2006, 07:24:31]