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Mother of five dies suddenly

Tom Windeler wonders how he will manage with 8-year-old quadruplets and a 3-year-old after his wife, Debra, dies in her sleep.

By JONATHAN ABEL
Published July 6, 2006

SPRING HILL - Even a house in mourning doesn't really get quiet with four 8-year-olds and a 3-year-old buzzing around.

Tom Windeler , 43, watches as the kids play on the computer and press him with stuffed animals.

Eight years ago, he and his wife, Debra, had quadruplets, possibly the first ever in Hernando County.

On Friday, Debra Windeler, 40, died in her sleep, with her arm around their fifth child, 3-year-old Jonny.

"I woke up and Jonny, who was the baby, was lying between us and he started kicking me," said Tom Windeler, who, like his wife, is a registered nurse. "I rolled over to turn his body. Her arm was draped across him like she was holding him. I picked up her arm so I could move him, and that's how I found that she was not there anymore."

The death was sudden and unexpected. Her husband said the cause was hypertensive heart disease.

For the last few weeks, Debra hadn't been feeling herself, Tom said. She had begun a battery of tests. None of them had turned up anything, but there were still more - deeper ones - to go.

On Friday, the entire family had just returned from visiting relatives in Pennsylvania. The weekend was planned out.

They would take the kids to see the new Cars movie and then go bowling Friday afternoon. Saturday or Sunday, a visit was planned to see the Weeki Wachee mermaids with the family's season pass.

The four 8-year-olds are old enough to understand what's wrong, though they have trouble accepting it, their father said.

"Jaclyn asks the most questions," he said. "She kind of asked, 'Where is Mommy?' I tell her she's up with Jesus. 'Can't she just tell Jesus she's not done being our mommy and she needs to come back?'"

Christopher is not talking much about his mother's death, Tom said. Victoria and Ashley cry a lot.

Jonny was playing with a toy and wanted to show his mother. His father had to explain:

"Mommy's not here right now. She's in heaven." But Jonny wanted to take the toy to her anyway.

All the kids wrote a letter to their mother. They will put it on a balloon and send it up to her after the funeral today.

Debra and Tom Windeler had been married since 1988. They met in 1987 while working at Regional Medical Center Bayonet Point.

Before her death, Debra worked for Gentiva Health Services as a home health care nurse , which gave her more flexibility to help with the kids.

Debra and Tom had been married eight years and were trying to have children when in vitro fertilization finally worked.

They knew that Debra was carrying more than one baby, but they didn't know how many until she had an ultrasound.

She sent the message to her husband on his pager: "4...4...4...4."

The quadruplets were delivered by caesarean section about 12 weeks early in August 1997.

The four are going into the third grade this fall at Chocachatti Elementary School. The girls like dance and ballet and dolls. Christopher has taken to Little League and wants to try soccer.

When Jonny was born, Tom was surprised to find out that "taking care of one was almost as hard as taking care of four."

"When we had four we were both doing little bits here and there. When we had the one it was her special little baby," he said. "She got to nurse Jonny but didn't get to nurse them because they were premature."

When he thinks ahead to his family's future, he's not sure how he will manage.

"You tell me what to do," he said. "I don't know what to do. Try to survive, I guess. ... I just want to say how much I love her. We all do. It's going to be miserable without her."

The funeral is at 11 a.m. today at First United Methodist Church of Spring Hill.

Information from Times files was used in this report. Jonathan Abel can be reached at jabel@sptimes.com or 352 754-6114.

[Last modified July 5, 2006, 23:01:43]