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I'll pass on the $160,000 watch

By PHILIP GAILEY
Published July 23, 2006

It looks like I've come a long way since the Sears and Roebuck catalog of my childhood days. That catalog opened up a fantasy world where backwater farm boys could spend hours, even days, drooling over cowboy pistols, bicycles and other things we knew our parents could not afford. It didn't matter - just turning the catalog's pages was a trip, especially the women's underwear section, which was about the closest thing we had back then to Playboy magazine.

These days, my mailbox overflows with high-end catalogs and niche magazines featuring luxury items I can't afford or, even if I could, would never purchase. Even if I won a big Lotto jackpot, you would not catch me paying $2,500 for a bottle of champagne, $1,500 for a latte maker, or $6,500 for a razor set. And even if I had Warren Buffett's billions, I would not be in the market for a luxury yacht that makes the British royal yacht Britannia, now a tourist attraction in Edinburgh, look like a rusted freighter; or for 70,000 square feet of mansion on the Florida coast.

The latest arrival is the premiere issue of Ocean Home, a new luxury real estate and lifestyle magazine. Talk about ocean homes. The magazine features an oceanside home in South Florida that is expected to list for $125-million when it's finished. You don't want to know how huge and opulent this mansion is.

"I realize that only 8,000 people in this world can afford a $120-million home," Frank McKinney, the builder who describes himself as a "real estate artist," is quoted as saying in the article. "Our clients tend to be self-made millionaires or billionaires and are impulsive, quick decision-makers and titans of their industry. For most, these estates are not their primary home, and buying a home like this is sort of a 'Lifetime Achievement Award.' These people have worked hard and they won't deny themselves anything."

As I browsed through the magazine, I started making a list of items I would gladly deny myself if I were one of the world's richest men.

For example, you wouldn't see the $160,000 watch on my wrist. This "Sea Hawk II Pro, Challenger of Record Flying Tourbillon" is water-resistant to 3,000 meters and includes 32 titanium pieces "to celebrate the 32nd America's Cup."

The same goes for the "Big Bang Haute Joaillerie" that is crafted in 18-karat red gold and comes with 70 diamonds weighing 4.63 carats. It retails for $70,000. And for ladies, there is the "Ocean Lady Biretro" watch featuring a case set with 90 diamonds. Price on request.

I have occasionally bought a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne to celebrate special occasions, including the birth of our son. But I don't think I've ever paid more than $130 for a bottle, so I'm not in the market for what the magazine calls "designer bubbly" at $2,500 a bottle.

Here's the pitch: "Dom Perignon has taken its collaboration with famed designer and photographer Karl Lagerfeld to a new level, with the introduction of a limited edition bottle personally designed by Lagerfeld. Called 'A Bottle Named Desire,' the Dom Perignon Vintage 1998, presented by Lagerfeld, was inspired by the sensual and seamless character of the 1998 vintage. The bottle features gold studs that emulate the bubbles within, and comes in a jeweled case that bears Lagerfeld's signature."

Like almost everything else featured in the magazine, the champagne bottle is a limited edition, and so is the "exquisitely indulgent" razor set designed by Wolfgang Joensson. The Monte-Carlo Groom center is platinum plated, numbered and, of course, signed by the designer. Only 500 sets exist, and you can have one for $6,500.

I'm sure there are people who indulge themselves in such luxuries, but I don't happen to know any of them, which is not surprising since I don't keep company with Arab oil tycoons and other billionaires. I believe it was F. Scott Fitzgerald who said the rich are different from the rest of us. I would add that the filthy rich are different from the rich.

I'm curious to know how I got on Ocean Home's mailing list. Maybe it's because I live across the street from waterfront homes. Whatever, I found the magazine interesting, in that it introduced me to a world of luxury, if that's the right word, that borders on the obscene. But this magazine - and others like it - are wasted on me. I would gladly trade my copy of Ocean Home for an old Sears and Roebuck catalog.

Philip Gailey's e-mail address is gailey@sptimes.com.

[Last modified July 23, 2006, 06:29:05]