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Amy Scherzer's diary

Heart Beat: Making time for love

Quality of life. It has been important to Al Barnes for years. Now he has someone who can help him attain it and enjoy it with him.

By AMY SCHERZER
Published August 11, 2006

HARBOUR ISLAND

Ten days volunteering with a health organization in Uspantan, Guatemala, changed Al Barnes forever.

The epiphany struck the Harbour Island stockbroker during a church mission in February 2001. He counted his blessings each morning while walking 2 miles to breakfast and another mile to help in a rural hospital.

"I thought about cashing it all in and roaming around Central America ministering," said the Tampa native. Instead, he pledged to never lose appreciation for his quality of life.

"QOL. QOL," he constantly reminds himself. "I came back to the frying pan but more grounded, with a consciousness tuned to what's important in life."

New England Financial recruited the Brandon High graduate right out of the University of Florida in 1990. He spent the next 15 years gauging the stock market, traveling to Paris, London and Bangkok, and dabbling in real estate.

"I was living the single life, my career was booming," said Barnes, 39. "But I never lost my perspective from that mission."

He also defined what he sought in a life partner: "someone God-fearing, with an easy spirit, genuine and down-to-earth."

To improve his chances of finding such a mate, Barnes decided to divide his time between Tampa and Atlanta.

In October 2004, a child's birthday party made that move unnecessary. A fraternity brother in Orlando had invited him.

"Oh, yeah, married couples and children," Barnes groaned.

He agreed to come only if his buddy's wife invited some of her single girlfriends.

Sharice Raven recognized Barnes instantly.

"I know you," she said, reminding him she was also a UF grad.

"My reputation preceded me," Barnes joked.

A Chicago native, Raven, 36, moved to Orlando in 1996. For 13 years, she handled claims for several insurance companies, including State Farm, Progressive and Explorer. Like Barnes, she had married and divorced.

Eventually, the birthday party ended, the children went to sleep and the bartender arrived.

Barnes made sure Raven's wine glass stayed full. He also kept his Grey Goose and tonic refilled.

They teamed up for cards. Several times he asked for her phone number. She claims now she never heard him. It was getting late when she excused herself.

"Sharice was gone so long I thought she might have left," he said. Her girlfriends noticed her absence, too. When they checked on her, she was sick in the bathroom.

She had been working 14- to 16-hour days and most weekends.

Anything but a party girl, she'd forgotten to eat that day because she was so busy helping with the kids.

That's when Barnes swung into "Mack" mode, he explained, a reference to the smooth street hero in the 1973 cult film, The Mack.

"First I asked for some blankets, and then I put them in the dryer," he said. "I got some points for that."

Raven's memory of the end of the night is fuzzy and slightly embarrassing.

"He accepted me in my worst moment," she said. And he scored her home phone number, "which I never give anyone."

Barnes called the next day, and every day after that. Three weeks later Raven came to Tampa to celebrate his birthday. They ate dinner in SoHo and saw a movie, The Incredibles.

"We talked about learning from the past and improving on it ... about instead of being bitter, being honest," she said.

The pair found that they shared an intolerance for big egos and small minds.

As they got to know each other, through hours on the phone and weekend commutes, Raven said, "I came to appreciate his spirituality and emotional balance. Other men I dated flaunted their success, but Al's career is secondary to his relationships."

Falling in love changed Barnes' life, but not his outlook. Now, he said, "work is a means to an end so that someday I will be able to spend time with our kids, drive them to school and go on field trips."

In December 2005, the two planned a trip to Madrid, a first visit for both.

Raven found the ring, purchased long before, on a pillow at their five-star hotel the night they arrived.

"We'd been talking about marriage, but it was still so unexpected," she said.

Barnes and Raven married May 6 at the Centre Club, with about 20 family members in attendance. His client, the Rev. John Green, formerly of Tampa and now of Tallahassee, officiated.

After a honeymoon in Puerto Rico, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes returned to his Harbour Island condominium in the Grandview.

The bride plans to sell insurance; the groom will continue to provide financial expertise. They'll focus on their QOL and reap the dividends.

Amy Scherzer can be reached at scherzer@sptimes.com or 813 226-3332.

[Last modified August 9, 2006, 11:02:31]