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Annual homesickness recalls memories from up North

By GEORGI DAVIS
Published August 27, 2006

Once a year I start feeling like maybe I should move back to Ohio. Not that I don't like Florida. It's a guilt thing. I feel like I have deserted my family and friends. When I feel this way, the first person I talk to is my husband.

I tell him that we have grandchildren up North who will never really get the opportunity to know us like the first ones did. There are seven of them now, ranging in age from 2 months to 18. In November, there will be an eighth.

When I get feeling this way, he reminds me of the long, cold winters up North. He reminds me of driving through slush, ice and even watching for tornadoes. He reminds me that I can't play golf all year. He reminds me again of the cold, cold winters. But this doesn't always suffice.

The 18-year-old is on her way to college. We shared many good times together. She used to come over and help clean the house or play cards. But now she is well on her way to becoming her own person and doing her own thing.

The next two are juniors in high school. I spent time with them, too. They would come over and help me put up the Christmas tree, bake cookies or just stop by for a visit. They are in sports, cheerleading and the band.

I got to watch them do a little of this, but soon they will be off on their own, and I will have missed some of the great moments of their lives. Of course, I will return in two years to watch them graduate like I did the first one.

The fourth is a boy, busy running track and just starting seventh grade. I got to spend time with him and we often took bike rides or played games or went for walks. But I won't watch him as his voice changes or when he gets his first heartthrob. I'll miss all that.

These four call me "Crazy Gramma." I got the name because I liked having pillow fights with them, jumping on the bed, and every holiday I had a door prize to be won after the big holiday feast.

The ones that make me feel the most guilty are the two little ones. There is Jack, 2¹/₂, whom I talk to on the phone. He told me just the other day that he wanted to be a toilet for Halloween. That is really what he told me!

I would love to be around to teach him how to play golf. He has a little sister, Annie, who is just 2 months old. I won't be able to talk on the phone with her for a long time. I want to be able to read them stories, have them sit on my lap and have pillow fights with them, too.

If my old bones would let me, I would even still jump on the bed with them until their parents catch us. Then we'll all be in trouble.

We have another grandchild who is 6. She came to us via marriage. We haven't been able to spend much time with her. In November, she will have a little brother that will make our eighth. So you see what we are missing.

So I get a little depressed and feeling a little guilty about being so far away. My husband reminds me that we raised the children to stand on their own, make their own way in life and to be independent of us. It worked.

They all are living the lives they should be. They have many friends and are doing well. They are doing just what we did. They are raising their children to be responsible citizens and to stand on their own feet.

Soon their "birds will leave the nest," too. Then maybe they will move away to a sunny climate.

I also get reminded that we have made many friends here, have parties and dances to go to, plays to perform in and we have earned the right to be independent of our children. I know he is right.

This is the way it should be. Consequently, I'll stay in Florida and be happy until maybe the holidays when I'll start feeling a little guilty again.

The bottom line is that our children are happy for us. They know we will come and visit when we can, will laugh and play with the kids and be remembered, not for the length of time we spend with them, but for the little things we do with them when we are home.

Thought for the day: For those of you who feel like I do sometimes, remember this: In order for children to stand on their own, you must make them stand on their own. Home is where the heart is. My heart will always be with my children.

[Last modified August 27, 2006, 06:30:38]