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Suddenly Senior

It's what you're doing, not what you did

By FRANK KAISER
Published August 29, 2006

At my 50th high school reunion, when the ex-Quiz Kid reached out to shake my hand, I blurted, "What did you do with your life, Lonnie?" I was thinking, where do you go from being a radio Quiz Kid?

We all held such promise back then.

Although we didn't realize until later, we children of the Chicago suburb of Park Ridge were among the best taught in the nation. When asked what we were going to be when we grew up, there were few among us aspiring to be firemen or nurses. No - we would build fast cars, cure cancer, write the Great American Novel, fly to the moon.

Then, overnight, we grew up, had families, and grew old. Suddenly senior.

Did you cure cancer or fly to moon? Neither did I. Nature has a nasty way of dealing with great potential.

Life happens.

Sure, we lived our lives as best we could. As children of the Depression, we probably spent too much of ourselves at work. We were a generation of workaholics; work is what we felt defined us.

Now, in retirement, haunting questions ooze up from deep in our minds. Especially at reunions:

What did I accomplish with my life?

What was it all about, really?

Had many divorces lately?

They say the unexamined life is not worth living. Yet what do we examine?

Measured against today's idea of success and glory - our big-mouth, big-moneyed superstars - most of us would rate our lives as trivial. How many divorces have you had lately? Although we were the last generation not demanding rock stardom when we grew up - pre-Presley, there was no such thing - we each had dreams to follow.

Remember the mid '50s ad for a men's clothing company whose suits were "For the young man who wants to make $10,000 by the time he's 30?" Funny as it sounds now, most of us guys took that very seriously back then.

To many of us, money and position were everything. We worked late and played the corporate game. But no matter how successful we became, something was missing.

And sooner or later, we discovered that unless we were artists - or very lucky - Life was not Work.

We found that life was love. Of family. Of friends. Of God and life itself.

So was all that work life wasted? Of course not! We took the hand we were dealt. We did our best with it.

I believe that, to be fulfilled, to live that life worth living, we must continue to do our best, even into retirement. For this is the time of great opportunities.

Yet I look around and see mine has become largely a generation of mopers. Dull and spiritless, we feel sorry for ourselves.

What a waste of time!

Consider this: We were quite fortunate to grow up in this great country during a time of tremendous growth and prosperity. As much as we like to take credit ourselves, any measure of success that we enjoyed was built on those who came before.

And in that spirit of humility, get over yourself! What matters now has little to do with our pre-senior lives.

Life is all about today.

Get out and work on your golf game. Learn new bridge conventions. Better yet, do that thing you always wanted to do.

There is great joy in helping others. Millions of your fellow retirees are making new dreams come true every day. According to the Wall Street Journal, 24-million Americans 55 and older serve as volunteers, many finding positions with influence and authority.

Why do so many give of themselves? I've learned here at Suddenly Senior that the best part of my day is answering my 100 to 200 reader e-mails, helping sort out their problems as best I can.

It's challenging. It's connecting. And it's love. I can't imagine a better life than I have right now.

So Lonnie, if you read this, please let me know . . . not what you did with your life, but what you are doing with it, now.

Like they say, we're not getting any younger.

Frank Kaiser is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in Clearwater. His Web site, www.suddenlysenior.com, includes nostalgia, trivia, senior humor and 111 Best Senior Links. Contact him at frank@suddenlysenior.com or by writing to 2431 Canadian Way, Suite 21, Clearwater, FL 33763.

[Last modified August 28, 2006, 19:08:49]