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Guest Column

Kin left behind inspire a bout of homesickness

By GEORGI DAVIS
Published August 31, 2006

Once in a while, I start feeling like maybe I should move back to Ohio. It's not that I don't like Florida. It's a guilt thing. I feel as if I have deserted my family and friends.

When I feel this way, the first person I talk to is my husband. I tell him our grandchildren up North will never really get the opportunity to know us like the first ones did. There are seven of them now, ranging in age from 2 months to 18 years. In November, there will be an eighth.

When I feel this way, my husband reminds me of the long, cold winters up North. He reminds me of driving through slush and ice and even watching for tornadoes. He reminds me that I can't play golf all year. He reminds me again of the cold, cold winters. But this doesn't always suffice.

The 18-year-old is on her way to college. We shared many good times together. She used to come over and help clean the house or play cards. But now she is becoming her own person and doing her own thing.

The next two are juniors in high school. They would come over and help me put up the Christmas tree, bake cookies or just stop by for a visit. They are in sports, cheerleading and the band.

I got to watch them do a little of this, but soon they will be off on their own and I will have missed some of the great moments of their lives. Of course, I will return in two years to watch them graduate, as I did the first one.

The fourth is a boy, busy running track and just starting seventh grade. We often took bike rides, played games or went for walks. But I won't watch him as his voice changes or when he gets his first heartthrob. I'll miss all that.

These four call me "Crazy Gramma." I got the name because I liked having pillow fights with them and jumping on the bed. And every holiday I had a door prize to be won after the big holiday feast.

The ones who make me feel the most guilty are the two little ones. There is Jack, 2½, with whom I talk on the phone. He told me just the other day he wanted to be a toilet for Halloween. I would love to be around to teach him how to play golf.

Jack has a little sister, Annie, who is just 2 months old. I won't be able to talk on the phone with her for a long time. I will miss reading her stories with her in my lap.

If my old bones would let me, I would jump on the bed with them during pillow fights - until their parents catch us. Then we'd all be in trouble!

We have another grandchild who is 6. She came to us via marriage. We haven't been able to spend much time with her. In November, she will have a little brother that will make our eighth.

So you see what we are missing.

I get a little depressed and feel a little guilty about being so far away. My husband reminds me we raised the children to stand on their own, make their own way in life and to be independent of us. It worked.

They all are living the lives they should be. They have many friends and are doing well. They are doing just what we did. They are raising their children to be responsible citizens and to stand on their own feet.

Soon, their "birds" will leave the nest, too. Maybe they will move away to a sunny climate?

I also am reminded that we have made many friends and a social life here, and that we have earned the right to live independent of our children.

I know he is right. This is the way it should be. Consequently, I'll stay in Florida and be happy - until the holidays, when I'll start feeling a little guilty again.

The bottom line is that our children are happy for us. They know we will come and visit when we can, will laugh and play with the kids and be remembered, not for the length of time we spend with them, but for the little things we do with them when we are together.

Home is where the heart is, and my heart will always be with my children.

Georgi Davis lives in Homosassa. Guest columnists write their own views on subjects they choose, which do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this newspaper.

[Last modified August 30, 2006, 19:52:44]