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Bucs/NFL
Bucs shotz
Empty seats at Ray-Jay, lots of them, particularly in the upper deck. Then again, the Devil Rays were playing at the same time.
By TOM JONES
Published September 11, 2006
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[Times photo: Carrie Pratt]
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FIRST THOUGHT THAT COMES TO MIND
Playoffs? Playoffs?!
SURPRISING SIGHT
Empty seats at Ray-Jay, lots of them, particularly in the upper deck. Then again, the Devil Rays were playing at the same time.
WORST OPENING DRIVE
Let's see, six months to script an opening drive. Okay, fellas, here we go, here's the plan: QB scramble for 3 yards. Incomplete pass. Dinky dumpoff for minus-1 yard. Punt team!
PET PEEVE OF THE DAY
CBS spent more time pumping the new series by that creepy James Woods than showing replays of the two coach's challenges.
BEST USE OF ONE HAND
Todd Heap makes a leaping, one-handed catch to keep the Ravens' 14-play, 80-yard first-quarter drive alive.
WORST USE OF ONE HAND
On the same drive, side judge John Parry uses his right hand to throw a penalty flag on Ronde Barber for an iffy interference to give the Ravens a first down at the Bucs 11.
WORDS THAT CAME TO MIND AFTER THE RAVENS' OPENING DRIVE
"Ruh-oh." (Source: Doo, Scooby).
WORST USE OF TWO HANDS
Guard Sean Mahan's holding penalty on the Bucs' second drive makes it first and 20 instead of second and 3. Two plays later, Chris McAlister returns a Chris Simms pass 60 yards for a touchdown. Drive safely, everybody.
QUICK QUESTION
Has Peyton Manning ever turned down a commercial?
BIGGEST CHEER AFTER THE OPENING KICKOFF
When Bucs quarterback Bruce Gradkowski, above, entered in the fourth quarter.
FUNNIEST SIGHT
Baltimore's 340-pound Haloti Ngata rumbling, bumbling, stumbling down the sideline for 60 yards on an intercep-tion return that took about 17 minutes. Hey, Kool-Aid! Oh, yeah!
STRANGEST MEASUREMENT
A touchback. Ball on the 20. Three plays later, ball marked short of the 30. And there's a measurement?
BEST QUOTE
Bucs coach Jon Gruden, talking about the offense: "Zero. Z-E-R-O. That sums it up pretty damn well."
BEST ADVICE
For the barebacked fans. People, if you can't see your feet past your stomach, please put your John Lynch jersey back on.
BEST COMMERCIAL
The DirectTV ads for the Sunday NFL package, the ones with the guy saying, "There's no shortcuts in football, buttercup. In my day, you got one game. If your team was getting clobbered, too bad. You took it like a man." Funny stuff. And appropriate Sunday, don't you think?
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ...
Michael Clayton? The Bucs receiver didn't have the ball thrown his way until midway through the second quarter, and he caught only three passes all day.
WORST SLOGAN
The league's billion-dollar machine came up with "Kickoff NFL" then painted it on every NFL field. Who came up with this scintillating slogan, Moby?
WORST FASHION STATEMENT
Sorry, but these new referee uniforms are still going to take some getting used to. Every time we see them, we think: jail outfit in an old Three Stooges movie.
EARLIEST EXIT
Unless everyone was hitting the toilet at the same time, fans started filing out with 5:20 left in the third quarter.
BEST BUCS PLAYER
Actually, we vote for punter Josh Bidwell: eight punts, 46.5 average.
WORST BUCS PLAYER
A 22-way tie.
BEST LINEBACKER
The Bucs' Derrick Brooks or the Ravens' Ray Lewis? Neither. How 'bout Baltimore's Bart Scott, who had two sacks and tipped a pass that turned into Ngata's Chariots of Fire interception return.
WORST TIMEOUT
After a five-minute injury delay, the Bucs burn a timeout because they don't have enough players on the field for fourth and 4 from the Ravens 6. Like a well-oiled machine, baby.
DUMBEST QUESTION
Someone actually asked Gradkowski if playing in the preseason helped him Sunday. Yeah, otherwise, he wouldn't have completed that one pass for 4 yards.
SIGHT WE'VE GROWN TIRED OF
Simms getting passes tipped at the line. After having a league-leading 5.1 per game knocked down last season, he had three more batted away Sunday.
MOST TELLING STAT
Cadillac Williams: eight carries, 22 yards.
FAN OF THE WEEK
Warren Forsyth, above, a retired firefighter from Rescue 1 in New York, stands for the national anthem before the game. Firefighters from Safety Harbor as well as New York helped introduce the Bucs one day before the fifth anniversary of Sept. 11.
NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN
The opening postgame quote from your coach is an apology to the fans.
ANOTHER BAD SIGN
When the coach apologizes for a second time in the same news conference.
WORST SIGN OF ALL
When the only play involving your kicker is the opening kickoff.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
Plenty of gunpowder left for the cannons. They were fired once.
BEST TAMMY WYNETTE IMITATION
Gruden, about Simms: "I'll stand by my man."
FINAL THOUGHT
Seems like things went better when the Bucs practiced at their old facility.
BEST SNOT-KNOCKER
Ray Lewis laying out Michael Pittman on an incomplete pass near the goal line in the third quarter.
[Last modified September 11, 2006, 05:06:42]
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