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Moms get much-needed support from social group

By MINDY RUBENSTEIN
Published September 13, 2006

WESLEY CHAPEL - For Alex Stirling, just knowing that other women in the area have the same issues she does gives her comfort.

So she joined Mothers & More, a support group for women who temporarily leave their careers during their parenting years. Some are full-time stay-at-home moms; others work part time.

They meet for social outings and ask questions and offer advice through an e-mail loop.

"Even if they don't give you an answer, there's something reassuring about it, knowing that it will pass at some point," said Stirling, 37.

For instance, a recent post about potty training woes prompted a flood of responses.

"Austin needs to be fully potty-trained before moving on to his preschool class in two weeks," Stirling wrote about her 3-year-old son.

Mothers & More has 7,500 members in the United States and abroad. The local chapter includes moms in Wesley Chapel, Zephyrhills, Land O'Lakes and New Tampa. Founded a year and a half ago, the 80-member group is the fastest-growing chapter in Mothers & More history, said co-leader Dawn McConnaughy.

Besides potty training, parenting topics include whether to let babies cry themselves to sleep, the pros and cons of local preschools, and good activities to do with children during the week.

The e-mail loop is also a place to get referrals for painters, mechanics, pediatricians, obstetricians, dentists and even sushi restaurants.

Members can receive daily or weekly e-mails from the group's site. Stirling regularly visits the Yahoo site that hosts her group.

"I go to the Web site a couple times a day," she said.

Aside from giving advice, members try to help in other practical ways.

Mothers post items for sale, jokes and non-mom-related topics for discussion on the site.

They also take meals every other night for a month to moms with new babies. There were four new babies in July alone.

"It's one less thing to worry about," said Stirling, who had her second son, Justin, at the end of July. She knew most of the moms who brought her meals only by seeing their names on the e-mail loop.

"We all have kids, so we know how helpful it can be," said Stirling, who worked from home three days a week as a medical writer before taking time off to be with her kids.

Dawn Perdomo, 28, didn't know anybody when she moved to the area last year from Bradenton. The group gives her the chance to meet other women with children.

She said her college friends without kids don't understand what she goes through taking care of her three children. Her oldest is 4.

"I like to reach out to people," said Perdomo, who used to teach first grade.

Now she uses her leadership skills to serve as fundraising chairwoman for the Mothers & More board. Board members recently created and sold cookbooks with recipes from members that included easy dinner ideas as well as homemade play dough and finger paints.

Members of Mothers & More also participate in Monday morning play groups, evening meetings and moms' night out, which gives them a chance to go to dinner or see a movie without the children.

The group meets twice a month and discusses topics that include CPR tips, effective discipline for children and improving relationships with one's spouse.

Each year, Mothers & More also does several community outreach projects.

This year, the local group will support the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation through a 60-mile, three-day walk in October. Several members have been raising money since March, training four days a week up to 35 miles.

"All of my friends are people I met in Mothers & More," said Ann Madely, who lives in New Tampa.

"It's just a lot of women who are so willing to help out. It's a great network of friends."

[Last modified September 13, 2006, 01:09:49]