Bucs/NFL

BucShotz

Watching the Bucs line up for an extra point. Who could blame us for forgetting considering the season was already 143 minutes, 3 seconds long, which is almost exactly as long as it takes to watch Tora! Tora! Tora!

By TOM JONES
Published September 25, 2006

FIRST WORDS THAT COME TO MIND

With the first pick in the 2007 NFL draft, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers select ...

STRANGEST SIGHT

Watching the Bucs line up for an extra point. Who could blame us for forgetting considering the season was already 143 minutes, 3 seconds long, which is almost exactly as long as it takes to watch Tora! Tora! Tora! (Seriously, look it up.)

BEST POURING OF SALT IN THE WOUND

Keyshawn Johnson catching balls and moving chains is no surprise, but running a reverse for a touchdown? Ouwwee, that's gotta leave a mark.

BIGGEST UNDERSTATEMENT

After four possessions, Chris Simms was 1-for-6 for 9 yards and an interception and was sacked once, which led Bucs radio sideline guy T.J. Rives to say Simms was "just a little off."

WORST DISPLAY OF LOVE

Fox announcer Matt Vasgersian talking about "finding love" on a running play and "looking for love" on another play and "no Cal-Stanford love" for the Bucs on the last play. Once was annoying. Three times was like a paper cut on the lip. That phrase went out with The Golden Girls. Lose it, Matt. We don't love it.

BIGGEST MISS

Simms overthrows a streaking Joey Galloway late in the first half that would've been six.

WORST USE OF FOOT

Bucs 2006 MVP Josh Bidwell picked a lousy time for his worst punt of the season. His 35-yard wounded sparrow late in the first half gave the Panthers great field position. They manage only 8 yards yet turn it into three points.

BEST USE OF THE OLD FOOT

And we do mean "old" by NFL standards. Carolina kicker John Kasay, left, who is 36, nearly kicked his age with field goals of 51, 50, 49 and 46 yards, prompting Bucs coach Jon Gruden to say, "I don't like that guy." With Kasay coming through and Morten Andersen getting a paycheck, somewhere Roy Gerela is stretching.

MOST TELLING HIDDEN STAT

The Bucs had 16 second downs. Only three times was it second down with less than 5 yards to go. Ten times, the Bucs had second and at least 8 yards to go. "That's a tough way to make a living," Gruden said. In other news, Marmaduke is a big dog.

BEST BLOCK

Fullback Jerald Sowell springs Simms' fourth-down, 2-yard TD run with 5:56 left in the third quarter to give the Bucs their first lead of the season.

BEST RETURN

Just when we were filling out the missing persons report, Bucs defensive end Simeon Rice single-handedly got the Bucs back in the game with two forced fumbles that Tampa Bay turned into touchdowns.

BEST NOSTRADAMUS IMITATION

Fox color announcer JC Pearson wonders if Panthers receiver Steve Smith is merely a decoy or ready to make a big play just seconds before Smith catches a 41-yard pass to set up a Carolina field goal.

WHO ARE YOU?

By the way, Pearson, who played eight seasons with the Chiefs and Vikings, did a solid job with the analysis. But I swear I had never heard of the guy before Sunday.

BEST OBSERVATION

Pearson did have a point when he questioned Gruden's play-calling midway through the fourth quarter, having a battered Simms roll out from the Carolina 8 on a bootleg. After avoiding a debacle, the Bucs ran for no gain and settled for a field goal to go up 24-23.

JUST WARMING UP

After going 27 possessions without reaching the end zone, the Bucs scored touchdowns on 3 of 5, proving you might stop the Bucs 27 times in a row, but you aren't going to stop them 28.

WAIT, DON'T BLAME THE OFFENSE

The last time the Bucs scored this many in a game and lost was Dec. 12, 2004.

BEST IRONIC WARNING

Bucs sideline is warned for being too close to the field. Funny, for most of the season, the Bucs seemed as if they didn't have enough players on the field.

WORST USE OF WIDE RECEIVERS

Bucs receivers Michael Clayton and Joey Galloway each had only one catch. Combined, they have 19 catches this season for 279 yards and one touchdown. Johnson has 16 catches for 243 yards and one touchdown.

ANOTHER BAD SIGN

Because we're piling on, it's never a good sign when you're three weeks into the season and Johnson has as many rushing touchdowns as Cadillac Williams.

WEAKEST CALL

To the official who flagged the Bucs' Will Allen for taunting, Donald Rumsfeld called. He wants his personality back.

BIGGEST SCRATCH-YOUR-HEAD CALL

Two-minute warning. Bucs need 5 yards for a first down to nail down the game. They even call a timeout to get it right. And they throw a bomb that didn't even come close to Galloway? Not only do the Bucs fail to get a first down, they don't even force the Panthers to burn their last timeout.

BEST CALL

Jake Delhomme's 12-yard scramble on fourth down to set up the winning field goal. They lined up 28 receivers (we could've sworn we saw Danny Abramowitz, Lance Alworth and Golden Richards out there) and let Crazy Legs Delhomme do the rest. Perfect.

BIGGEST DROP

Bucs cornerback Torrie Cox drops a sure interception for touchdown on the Panthers' final drive. Even if he doesn't take it to the house, the game is over, order is restored and the Bucs are well on their way to the Super Bowl!

MOST APPROPRIATE QUOTE

Gruden: "We need a bye."

THE FINAL WORDS

Gruden on the 0-3 hole the Bucs are in: "Holes are what you make of them." What we make of it looks eerily similar to the Grand Canyon.

CATCH OF THE DAY

Bucs tight end Alex Smith's leaping snag with a defender on his back for 27 yards to set up a late field goal. That was his fourth catch of the day to signify his needed return to the offense.

[Last modified September 25, 2006, 01:06:28]