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Adversity got you down? Cave in. It's cool

By DAVE MURPHY
Published October 1, 2006

My favorite part about high school sports? The life lessons they teach us. Like practice makes perfect. And dedication breeds excellence. And when your team is 0-4 and looking like it might not score a point before the rapture, there's no shame in folding up the tent, packing up the bags and assuming the fetal position.

You might think Kyle Tobin, the football coach at Oscoda (Mich.) Area High School, is crazy for canceling his team's season.

You might think the move, which he said was because of safety concerns, sends all the wrong messages to the school's athletes.

You might sympathize with senior quarterback Mike Gondek, who pleaded with the school board to reverse Tobin's decision.

But, as the coach told the Associated Press, "When you go to a game on Friday night and see a team physically dominated, those are the indisputable facts."

Cut and run.

It makes perfect sense.

The Oscoda Owls weren't worth a hoot. They'd lost their first four games. They hadn't scored a point. They barely had the minimum players required to play. Things were getting so bad, Tobin was thinking of asking Jon Gruden for advice.

Instead, he formulated the perfect way to staunch the bleeding. After all, you can't lose if you don't play, right? It's like Winston Churchill once said, "When going through hell, for God's sake give up."

Actually, he said, "When going through hell, keep going."

But what the hell did Churchill know? He won World War II. And winners never prosper.

No. I think we all need a little more Kyle Tobin in our lives.

Struggling at your job? Resign!

Marriage on the rocks? See ya!

Enemy has just out-flanked you? That's why God created white flags!

See?

If you don't quit when you stink at football, how will you ever be able to quit when you stink at life?

Lance Armstrong? Sucker.

John Wooden? Loser.

Adam Taliaferro? Punk.

Fighting through adversity is soooo five years ago. Surrender is the new victory! Cowards are the new heroes!

Do you really think Tobin wasn't looking out for the best interest of his kids? It's Oscoda, Mich., for crying out loud. It's not like he wanted to take the autumn off and sip margaritas on the banks of Lake Huron.

"I have 28 years of coaching experience in high school and college, and I know the difference between a team playing bad and a team that's unsafe," Tobin told the Bay City Times.

I hear what you are saying. What the heck makes one football team any less safe than another?

A machete-wielding quarterback?

Radioactive water bottles?

A giant ring of fire burning at the 50-yard line?

Speaking of which, how does a team suddenly go from being "bad" to "unsafe" four games into the season? And if Oscoda was bad enough to be disbanded, what in the world should we do with the Buccaneers? Load them on a barge and send them to New Jersey?

But Tobin's decision was supported by all but one member of the school board. Several parents have voiced their support for him as well. He's also expected to pick up endorsements from French President Jacques Chirac and the United Nations Security Council.

I wouldn't fault you for empathizing with a senior quarterback like Gondek, who saw his senior season come to a premature close. But think of the stories he'll tell 20 years from now when he's trying to rally his co-workers in the board room

GONDEK (dressed in a business suit and standing at the head of the table): It was Week 5 of the 2006 football season. I was playing quarterback. Our team started the season 0-4 and had yet to score a point. We had a game scheduled against Eastside High (his voice trails off).

CO-WORKERS (in unison): What happened?

GONDEK: Oh. We forfeited the season. ...Say, why don't we all cut out early today and get a head start on happy hour.

I could go on and on discussing the merits of Tobin's decision. But to be honest with you, I'm kind of tired of typing. The weather outside is gray, and I really just want to go home, rest my fingers and watch the new episode of Grey's Anatomy.

As a matter of fact, I quit.

[Last modified September 30, 2006, 21:16:59]