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His code leaves us steamed and awed
By SUE CARLTON
Published October 11, 2006
Forget the November elections. Forget the price of gas. What we really want to talk about around here is a good courtroom squabble over shrimp and scallops. Or, if you ask Ralph Paul, a lack thereof. Paul is the retired Air Force guy who ordered the $15.99 shrimp and scallop verdura at Angellino's Italian Restaurant in Palm Harbor in March. He ate the seafood from the pasta and deemed the dish short on shrimp and scallops. After a dispute, he left without paying his $46 tab. No, we can't fault the sheriff's office or prosecutors on this one. The man did not pay his bill. Generally this is against the law. Lawbreakers are supposed to be charged with crimes and prosecuted - even if it sounds sort of silly afterward. Facing a misdemeanor, Paul took his chances with a jury last week. Jurors obliged by acquitting him in less than 30 minutes. Naturally a case this wacky had to make the paper. But who could have imagined the backlash? Paul said Letterman and Leno tried to book him. Comments flooded the Times Web site. One writer called him "Col. Cheap-O." Paul bristled and wrote a three-page letter to clarify his position. So why were some of us so mad at Ralph Paul? Maybe it was his lawyer's high-handed assertion that Paul lives by "a code of honor" that got our eyes rolling. You could almost hear the opening strains of America the Beautiful. "There are people who are willing to compromise, who are willing to settle," his lawyer told the jury. "That's not Ralph Paul." We are talking seafood, not stem cell research, right? Maybe we sensed an insinuation that those of us unwilling to risk criminal prosecution over a plate of pasta must lack a code of our own. Apparently we live plodding, sheeplike lives, empty of conviction. Truth is, we all have our codes. But most of us don't have the kind of pocket change it takes to hire a $500--an-hour New York lawyer to defend us. Over a restaurant dispute. While we're missing work and wondering who'll pick up the kids if we end up in the county jail. One reader wondered how the system might have treated a non-BMW-convertible-driving customer who walked out on his bill at, say, Denny's. Just asking. All of that said, I sort of admire Ralph Paul. Ten pieces of seafood seem reasonable to me, but hey, it's his code. He said he believed he was ordering a seafood dish, not a pasta dish. Paul says he offered repeatedly to pay for a portion of the seafood entree (as well as the rest of what he and his girlfriend ate.) The forewoman of the jury told Times reporter Chris Tisch jurors were impressed by this. Me, too. Sounds like a guy acting on principle - even over-the-top principle - and obviously not some dine-and-dash grifter. Working at a restaurant in college, I saw managers finesse customers who ranged from slightly unsatisfied to overtly obnoxious. So it was a little surprising the restaurant didn't take Paul's offer, if just to be done with him. But maybe it has a code of its own, one that says if you ate it, you pay for it. Also kind of admirable: Paul wasn't willing to plead no contest, as in "I'm not going to fight this, but I won't plead guilty, either." It's a common way out, but he didn't take it. Also notable: Paul tried to resolve the case through the Better Business Bureau with no luck. He did, however, commit one unpardonable offense. He says he left a measly three-buck tip. Even subtracting his entree - which he shouldn't, since the server served it - that comes to about 10 percent. Ever waited tables? There ought to be a three-strikes law for bad tippers. His lawyer likely got that much out of him just picking up the phone and inhaling enough oxygen to say hello. Sure, it would have been nice if this whole mess had been cleaned up without taking up valuable court time, costing us taxpayers and using six jurors and an alternate who could surely have done more good elsewhere. But every man - even an accused seafood scofflaw - deserves his day in court. That's what Ralph Paul ordered, and that's what he got. Sue Carlton can be reached at carlton@sptimes.com.
[Last modified October 11, 2006, 01:03:54]
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