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Bucs/NFL

Gimme 5

By JOHN ROMANO
Published October 16, 2006

Five topics suitable for inane debate on talk radio.

1. AGAINST YOUR BETTER JUDGMENT: If you insist on being optimistic, here is your mantra - the Bucs are a couple of plays away from being 3-2. John Kasay hit a long field goal with seconds left in the Carolina game, and Reggie Bush returned a punt for a touchdown for New Orleans. Still, the reality is that teams do not recover from 0-4 starts to make the playoffs. Especially teams that have trouble forcing turnovers.

2. ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL: A new offensive line was unveiled with two rookies and two second-year starters, and it played, perhaps, its best game of the season. The left side was remade with Anthony Davis and Dan Buenning last season, and now there's a new right side with Jeremy Trueblood and Davin Joseph.

3. WE'LL STILL RESPECT YOU IN THE MORNING: After a bogus roughing the passer penalty, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis suggested his defensive linemen "cuddle" a quarterback to the ground. Actually, we prefer spooning.

4. KICKING THE HABIT: Matt Bryant was a weapon last season. He has been a liability so far in 2006. He has fewer field goals than any kicker in the NFL and is 0-for-3 from beyond 40 yards. Bryant was 10-of-11 from that range in 2005.

5. POWER OF PERSUASION: Michael Clayton complains he's not getting enough passes, and presto, he has his biggest game in more than a year. Which explains why Doug Jolley is now standing outside of Jon Gruden's office.

A list of five

Five signs we're getting too optimistic.

5. Searching eBay for spare spleens. Y'know, just in case.

4. New motto: The Glazer the merrier.

3. Looking for a tattoo artist who can turn A-L-S-T-O-T-T into G-R-A-D-K-O-W-S-K-I.

2. Organizing a fundraiser to buy the medical staff a new stethoscope.

1. Teaching my 3-year-old to curse like Gruden.

Five reasons for Gradkowski fever

1. The kid is cool. In the fourth quarter of his two starts, Gradkowski has completed 68 percent of his passes for 157 yards and two touchdowns without an interception. The Bucs have come from behind in the fourth quarter of both games, although the special teams failed to hold the lead in New Orleans.

2. Brad Johnson always needed clean socks at halftime. Gradkowski throws up before games. Who would you prefer? Miss Manners or a guy who barfs?

3. Chris Simms and Brian Griese combined to rush for 43 yards last season. Gradkowski has already scrambled for 38 yards, including a pair of third-down conversions Sunday.

4. At 1-1, he has moved past Jeb Blount, Mike Boryla, Jeff Carlson, Chris Chandler, Parnell Dickinson, Joe Ferguson, Jerry Golsteyn, Terry Hanratty, Randy Hedberg, Steve Spurrier and Eric Zeier for career victories for a Bucs QB.

5. How many quarterbacks rip the helmet off a DB after an interception? (Although, since the interception was later overturned by replay, wouldn't the facemask penalty fall under the legal description of fruit of the poisonous tree?)

Five super picks

Checking out the best bets for Super Bowl XLI in Miami.

1. Bears: Lou Piniella is looking into season tickets.

2. Colts: Once again, the last unbeaten team in the AFC.

3. Panthers: Four-game winning streak started against the Bucs.

4. Seahawks: Been outscored 111-108 and are 4-1. Either they know how to win or they're incredibly lucky.

18. Bucs: Perhaps the 0-4 start has something to do with the four opponents who are currently 16-7.

Final five words

Okay Marvin, I'll cuddle you.

[Last modified October 16, 2006, 05:31:36]