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'Wedgies' are no laughing matter

By Times Wires
Published October 26, 2006

Eric Messerli, the principal at Park High School in Livingston, Mont., didn't so much do anything wrong, but it was officially decided that he got a little too excited and acted inappropriately. Seems he was at a school soccer game when he couldn't overcome the urge to go up to one of the seniors on the team, pull his jersey over his head and yank up on his underwear band. Classic wedgie. No one disputes he was joking around with the student and did it playfully. Then came the six-day suspension (two unpaid, four paid). He offered to resign, but was back at work this week. "I want to live in a world where we don't have to hide when we screw up."

Hey, they'll never find them in here!

Where's the best place to hide illegal drugs: inside the cargo door of your rental car, inside an Elmo doll, or in a bank deposit bag? Answer: none of the above, really. Read on:

- Pete Resa and Betina Marie Hernandez were driving up I-75 in Bradley County, Tenn., when they were pulled over not having their headlights on while it was raining. Something seemed fishy, so the officer asked to search the vehicle. When the window of the cargo door wouldn't roll down, he broke out the handy-dandy density detector and noticed a "severe change from the left side to the right side" of the door. Turns out 16 pounds of crystal meth can cause just such a change in density.

- Elmo is so busted. He was found carrying 4 pounds of methamphetamine. Okay, Elmo isn't busted, but he is in lockup after 19 people were arrested in breaking up a drug ring in northern Colorado. Cops say they seized more than 45 pounds of what they called high-quality methamphetamine. Authorities say other toys were used to move the drugs around, but only Elmo was named. The price of stardom.

- Adrian Hilton of Coralville, Iowa, stashed all the proceeds from a night's take at Pizza Pit into a deposit bag, then dropped it in the bank's night deposit. Problem was, he also stashed his stash in the bag. Upon finding marijuana with the deposit, bank employees called police, who were happy to get an easy one.

No fighting back

The suburban Fort Worth, Texas, school district that was training students to be proactive in the event a gunman attacks is backing off. A spokesman says that the students will still be instructed on how to respond to the situation, but not how to bring down an attacker en masse. "On a national level, people are calling in and saying bravo for at least looking at other options," Richard Crummel said. "On a local level, people are concerned about one thing: how it affects their children."

[Last modified October 26, 2006, 02:30:27]