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Dressup fantasies

From a green witch to a big dog, a confession- prone priest to a really weird clown, high-profile folks reveal what their alter egos will be for you-know-what.

By RICK GERSHMAN
Published October 27, 2006

This Halloween, masquerade as whomever you like, from Kim Jong Il to Star Jones, from Anna Nicole Smith to Borat. Hey, it's Tampa. Anything goes. Well, almost: Better pass on that Blade costume, unless you want to risk being scooped up by the Feds and tossed in the pokey. (Run, Wesley, run!) There's little time left to decide. Guavaween invades Ybor City on Saturday; that's also the prime time for parties, with Halloween landing on Tuesday this year. Times reporters asked notable Halloweeners what getups they'll be showing off. Here's what we found out:

- Shelton Quarles, Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker:

Quarles said his wife bought him a Pirates of the Caribbean costume, but he wasn't sure which character it was.

We would guess Jack Sparrow, but we can't see Quarles as Johnny Depp. So we're guessing he'll be the ship.

- Pam Bondi, Hillsborough assistant state attorney:

In a nod to the controversy over her adoption of a dog displaced by Hurricane Katrina, Bondi plans to be a St. Bernard.

(And her boyfriend plans to dress up as, um, her. No kidding.)

- Joe Redner, Hillsborough County Commission candidate:

The Mons Venus owner says he often dresses as a priest.

(Who says gays can't be in the priesthood?)

- Kevin White, Tampa City Council member and County Commission candidate:

White should look dashing and dangerous when he's Roman around Tampa as a gladiator.

(Forget political opponent Ken Anthony - now he'll have to keep one eye peeled for that sneaky Joaquin Phoenix.)

- Judy Lisi, president, Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center:

She'll be Elphaba, the green witch, protagonist of the play Wicked.

(What, you expected Annie? Do you know how much dough Wicked made for TBPAC?)

- Norman Schwarzkopf, U.S. Army general, retired:

The former military commander said he plans to be a "clown terrorist," wearing a curious conglomeration of a black Arabian-styled robe with gold trim, a black mask, and a multicolored clown wig.

(We have no idea what that's supposed to be either. We're just following orders.)

- Stephen Hogue, Tampa police chief:

He claims he's going as a newspaper reporter. We're pretty sure he's kidding.

(But if he's not, we suggest Clark Kent. Because we can't think of any other really cool newspaper reporters. Which hurts a little, down deep.)

- Elaine Shimberg, author and performing arts patron:

She plans to be a black tarantula.

(Should make for the scariest set of eight black-clad legs since the last time KISS played here.)

- David Gee, Hillsborough County sheriff:

The county's top cop said he's dressing as - we're not making this up - "Sheriff Man."

(Again, we have no idea what that means. But considering that we live and drive in the county, we say: Great idea, sheriff!)

- Chucky the Killer Doll, from the Child's Play horror movie series:

For the umpteenth year, everyone's favorite serial killer-possessed children's toy will be going as Bucs coach Jon Gruden.

(Seriously, Chuckster: Isn't it time to try something new?)

Rick Gershman can be reached at rgershman@sptimes.com or 226-3431. Tell us about your costume at www.sptimes.com/blogs/tampaarts.

[Last modified October 27, 2006, 07:31:04]