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Books

Lessons learned from experience

A collection of letters from successful women shares the insights they have gained from life.

By NANCY PARADIS
Published October 31, 2006

"If only I'd known then what I know now" is a common lament of adults reflecting on their youth. This wisdom gained through life's experiences is the premise of What I Know Now, Letters to My Younger Self, edited by Ellyn Spragins.

When Spragins was 32, her mother died in a plane crash. Over the years, as she came to terms with this loss and navigated through life without her mother, Spragins decided to seek out successful women to ask them about the struggles and regrets of their lives, and what wisdom they would share with their younger selves.

The 41 women whose letters are collected in this volume include Madeleine Albright and Maya Angelou, Queen Noor and Nora Roberts, Trisha Yearwood and Cokie Roberts. Each chapter offers an intimate, if concise, look at one contributor's life and trials, followed by her letter to herself.

The women have written letters to their younger selves, but offer life lessons to readers of all ages.

Marilyn Carlson Nelson, CEO of Carlson Cos., wanted to have - and to do - it all. Older and wiser, she writes: "Those who know you wonder why you think you can do it all. How can you possibly reconcile all those dreams into one lifetime? . . ."

Actor Shelley Morrison most recently on Will & Grace and Home Improvement tackles the guilt she felt at her father's death. Had she done everything she could have?

"This crushing guilt makes no sense. Think - you took on a new show, cared for your father, your aunts and your mother, and made sure all the medical bills were paid. But guilt doesn't listen to rational argument. So here's what I would say. You only know what you know of life at any given point. You can't beat yourself up for what you should have done if you weren't equipped with the knowledge at that time."

Wendy Walker Whitworth, longtime producer of Larry King Live, looks back at the heartbreak of being unable to bear children. In her letter, she says, "I want to tell you that not getting pregnant will be the best thing that ever happens to you. . . . You will receive (by adoption) two amazing children, a boy and a girl. You will be forever grateful that you didn't get pregnant, because if you had, you would not have them. And they are your loves and your spirit."

What I Know Now, Letters to My Younger Self is sure to appeal to a wide range of readers, most of whom will be able to identify with some, if not all, of the problems these women faced.

From finding balance and compassion to learning that good children can be raised even amid seeming chaos, the hardest lesson for many of these women was learning not to be too hard on themselves.

In the words of actor Camryn Manheim, ". . . Life isn't a dress rehearsal. We don't get any do-overs. You've got to make the days count - all of them."

Wit and Wisdom

What I Know Now, Letters to My Younger Self, edited by Ellyn Spragins, Broadway Books, $17.95.

Nancy Paradis can be reached at (727) 893-8342 or nparadis@sptimes.com.

[Last modified October 30, 2006, 19:31:23]