Resolution fails while bad behavior prevails
By C.T. BOWEN
Published November 5, 2006
Ten months into 2006, and it is time to declare the New Year's resolution a failure.
About time, say the people whose diets failed them by Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
Weight loss, exercise, better financial planning or stronger organizational skills didn't top the list this year. On Jan. 1, a column in this space encouraged people to resolve to be better mannered in 2006.
The good intentions dissolved rather rapidly over the past several days.
Judy Steele of Zephyrhills told of her husband's encounter with a younger woman at a 7-Eleven in which the woman referred to her husband several times by a vulgar name. Decorum forced us to edit the offending language before publication, but the term refers to a universal body opening.
The diatribe was sparked, according to Steele's letter, by her husband's selection of a gasoline pump.
Readers responded, and some suggested that Steele's husband was at fault. He should have pulled up to the next gas pump to leave the one behind him vacant, they said, which would have left no reason for the confrontation in the first place.
This is mystifying. His selection of pump convenience does not give license for verbal assault. Nor does his senior status authorize the other customer to refer to him as "Old man."
Next time, try "Sir."
Here's a better tip: Treat seniors with the same accord that you would want strangers to grant your own parents.
The daily mail delivery doesn't particularly instill civility, either. Joe Blow wants to legalize pot and is unprepared for public office. John Smith, dressed as a the long-ago stereotypical cigar-smoking used-car salesman in clashing plaids and stripes, wants a full-time check for part-time work. An empty suit portrays his opponent as an empty chair.
No wonder people avoid voting.
A week before the election, Donald Taggart, 78, and Benjamin Nodar, 64, brawled in the Summertree clubhouse workout room over escalating insults about military service. John Kerry's comments didn't play a role as far as we know. Nodar was arrested even though he got his backside kicked.
An incident later that same night in our own neighborhood cemented the demise of the New Year's resolution. The final group of Halloween trick-or-treaters on our block turned out to be four or five teenagers whose intentions, I surmised, were to portray themselves as rude, obstinate slugs.
They did a great job. No costumes. No smiles. No manners. No expressions of gratitude. Blank stares when I asked, "How are you guys tonight?"
The topper came as they walked away. The shortest of the bunch, a middle schooler from the neighborhood, sent the candy flying back toward me.
Either the confectionery didn't meet his specifications, he'd already had enough sugar, or, giving him the benefit of the doubt here, he slapped it out of one of his friend's hands and the projectile's flight direction was unintentional.
One of his group started to scold him, but I didn't let him finish.
"Why don't you learn some manners?" I barked.
The kid stopped, turned and said, "What? What did I do?"
Apparently, amnesia is a common side affect of bad behavior.
This is what educators would call a teachable moment. The kid awaited instructions on his shortcomings. Instead of detailing proper etiquette to the youth of today, I gave him a pass. Better than exchanging dialogue about acting like a body opening.
Beat it. He didn't need to be told twice. He and his group sprinted away.
Later, I detailed the encounter to my better half.
"Yeah, and some teacher is expected to teach those kids character," she deadpanned.
How true. Dump parental shortcomings on educators. Figure those kids will be yelling at senior citizens in convenience store parking lots in the coming years.
Either that, or they'll have successful political consulting careers designing negative campaign ads.