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Happy Holidays 2006

Pop: Download this, Santa

From metal to merry, this year's array of holiday albums fill the bill - so move Bing, Rosemary Clooney and Burl Ives to the back of the pile

By SEAN DALY
Published November 23, 2006

Nothing says Christmas like a cold mug of nog, toys under the tree and hair-metal heroes Twisted Sister hammering out Oh Come All Ye Faithful on the old Victrola. - What - too traditional for you? Then perhaps you'd prefer music that's a little looser, like funkalicious icon Bootsy Collins grooving out holiday cheer with rapper Snoop Dogg. - If you've been itching to boot Bing from the rotation and refresh your holiday music, boy is this the year for you. Odd is in with holidays CDs, and even cherished classics have received loving facelifts. - Ready to rock around the Christmas tree? Let's do it . . .

Twisted Sister A Twisted Christmas Razor & Tie When these '80s headbangers throw a holiday bash, they don't just light the tree - they light it on fire. Led by Revlon-painted nightmare Dee Snider, the Twisted quintet turns yuletide tunes (White Christmas, Silver Bells) into guitar-shredded screamers. Oh Come All Ye Faithful is hilariously mashed into the band's classic anthem We're Not Gonna Take It. On the raucous I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, St. Nick has more than smooching on his mind. And you've got to love the shopping list on Heavy Metal Christmas (The Twelve Days of Christmas): a tattoo of Ozzy, two pairs of spandex pants, four quarts of Jack, etc. There's a thin line between clever and stupid, but A Twisted Christmas will put a rockin', ribald spin on the Santa season. Grade: B

Vince Guaraldi A Charlie Brown Christmas (Fantasy) An absolute must-have, this deluxe edition of Guaraldi's 1965 cool-jazz masterpiece has been remixed, remastered and reinforced with four bonus tracks. It remains an essential catalyst for any TV-raised tyke (or tyke at heart) trying to get into the spirit of the season. Guaraldi's puckish piano noodlings have never sounded so crisp and clean, especially the iconic Linus and Lucy and that propulsive Latin-rhythm breakdown. Christmas Time Is Here (both a vocal and an instrumental track are included) manages to capture the sound and purity of gently falling snow without being sappy. Now let's all do the Snoopy dance. Grade: A

Aly & AJ Acoustic Hearts of Winter (Hollywood) Forget about the acoustic parts of Acoustic Hearts: When Disney Channel darlings Aly and AJ Michalka ditch the wispy routine and plug in for power-pop originals Greatest Time of Year and Not This Year, the perky sisters start having infectious fun. Alas, the rest of the disc is flat and forgettable, and these God-praising young women aren't nearly as catchy or clever as such Mouse House peers as Hannah Montana and the Cheetah Girls. But Disney rocks this year, so A&A should sell and sell well. Grade: C+

James Taylor James Taylor at Christmas (Columbia) Give credit to Mr. Sensitive for resisting the urge to do what he has done for 30-plus years: acoustic strums, earnest man-child delivery, peacenik goodwill toward Democrats. Instead, he spices this one up with welcome jazzbo panache, hiring piano-playing hero Dave Grusin to arrange and produce most of the 12 tracks. The result is a gently swinging, slightly tipsy sleigh ride, with Taylor making sure those bells bop rather than jingle. If you were expecting Fire and Snow, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Grade: B

Elvis Presley Elvis Christmas (RCA/Sony BMG) The King's Christmas catalog has been packaged and repackaged, but this 23-track edition looks pretty dang definitive, combining both 1957's Elvis' Christmas and 1971's Elvis Sings the Wonderful World of Christmas. Ol' Swivel Hips attacked holiday hits the same way he devoured rockabilly and buffets: with snarly lip sexuality and an exaggerated croon. His Blue Christmas is legend. His White Christmas smolders. And his version of Leiber and Stoller's Santa Claus Is Back in Town swaggers and sweats so hard, you'll be searching for mistletoe. Grade: B+

Sarah McLachlan Wintersong (Arista) It has been three years since the crooning pop soprano released a studio album, making this one of the most-anticipated discs of the fall, Christmas-themed or otherwise. The result is predictably lush and delicate and way too precious in parts. But her fans pay to hear the Canadian chanteuse hit and trill those heavenly high notes, and that she does. Her version of John Lennon's Happy Xmas (War Is Over) is especially lovely, mainly because (1) she invites her Music Outreach Children's Choir to join her and (2) she doesn't invite Yoko Ono. A gorgeous rendition of Joni Mitchell's River is a warm, loving tribute to her fellow countrywoman. The Queen of the Lilith Fair penned only one of the 12 songs here, but the titular tune is liltingly melancholy and comfortably chilly, a piano-driven lullaby which will briefly sate fans ravenous for new material. Grade: C+

Various Artists Rachael Ray's How Cool Is That Christmas (Epic) She cooks! She chats! She sings? Oh, heck no. In the name of world domination with a smile, the wee media powerhouse slapped her alliterative moneymaker on this compilation, which tries to be somewhat hip (Jane Monheit's The Man With the Bag) but is ultimately somewhat limp (Doris Day's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas). In a liner-note twist, RR provides recipes rather than rock talk: Christmas Pasta and a Fabulous Five-Minute Fudge Wreath. Grade: C

Bette Midler Cool Yule (Columbia) The Divine Miss M busts out the big-band swing on this 11-track zinger, which only falters during a "Christmas version" of From a Distance, one of the lousiest pieces of lousiness in the soft-pop canon. But forget about that errant slushball: This is Bette's first holiday album, and the bawdy belter sounds as if she's having a blast. She uncorks considerable oomph on the boogie-woogie title track. She flirts with a still-game Johnny Mathis on Winter Wonderland/Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! And she camps it up on Mele Kalikimaka, shaking her hips to the ukelele strum. Grade: B

Brad Paisley Brad Paisley Christmas (Arista Nashville) Neo-trad hat act Paisley pulls off some killer picking here, giving needed juice to an album that loses steam halfway. With his nimble fingers flying over the frets, he turns a cover of Buck Owens and Don Rich's Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy into a ferocious hootenanny, four minutes of breakneck bliss. Paisley's rich reliable twang gives a strong reading of I'll Be Home for Christmas, which is also fortified by a subtle string section and a weepy pedal steel. For all its gems, the album has a few potholes, especially Born on Christmas Day, on which Paisley duets with a recording of his 13-year-old self. Ick. Grade: B-

Bootsy Collins Christmas Is 4 Ever (Shout Factory) I'm still digging for words to describe this far-out "winterfunkyland" from the bassist who provided spaced-out grooves for James Brown and P-Funk. This is crazeee. From Uncle Bootzilla getting nasty under the mistletoe to Snoop Dogg busting out good-times rhymes on Happy Holidaze, this disc will either get the relatives dancing or chase them away forever. (Either way, you win!) A little of Bootsy's head-nodding funk goes a long way, but your party gets instant style points if you pop this in the player. As Bootsy sings on Chestnutz, "Real life is not made of cheese." Grade: B+

Sean Daly can be reached at (727) 893-8467 or sdaly@sptimes.com

[Last modified November 22, 2006, 11:44:38]