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He battles cancer as both doctor and patient

The advice he's given now helps guide his life.

By ELISABETH DYER
Published November 25, 2006

TAMPA - A list hangs taped inside the Tebes' kitchen cabinet.

Change the A/C filter.

Spray for bugs.

Check the car oil.

Wash Luke the dog.

There are checks in boxes for October and November.

These are things Steve Tebes used to do. Soon, he knows, they will be left to his wife, Christine.

They have been living with his cancer for four years now. He waits for an end.

"Everybody hopes they just die in their sleep," says Tebes, 32. "I wish that too."

Cancer grows slowly. As a doctor who specializes in oncology, Tebes knows the routine all too well.

Cancer is his life's work.

He loves the patients, with their appreciation for each day and whatever he can do for them.

But he never expected to be one.

Tebes was 28 when a scan revealed the disease. It is Rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare cancer that mostly strikes children. After a remission, it came back in January 2005, this time in his bones.

He and his wife, who is also a doctor, had dreamed of going into private practice, of the children they would have, the house, the vacations together.

Now they can't plan as far as Christmas. Last year he celebrated as if it were his last. His last Valentine's Day. In July, his last birthday.

But who can say when death will come.

He's grown to accept that the cancer has a will of its own. So, he focuses on things he can control.

He counsels patients at Tampa General. He researches on his computer, looking for better ways to treat cancer.

He travels and visits friends and relatives.

And he makes the lists. A list of remote controls, which one does what. Another list to maneuver complex computer steps.

He smooths the transition, as painful as it is.

"After I pass away and move on," he says, "she'll have some peace at least."

When he was 8, Tebes and his family moved to Germany, while his father, John, worked as a software manager for Siemens. For five years, the family lived in Munich. Steve rode the rides at Oktoberfests and on Saturdays skied the Alps.

"He does everything with gusto," says his father, John.

Before cancer, Tebes loved to run, work out, scuba dive and perform surgery.

His mother, Mary, prays for a miracle. "If there is such a thing as a miracle," she says. "I hope God listens. I hope he has many more days."

That was in September.

Tebes' mind is scientific. He predicts the cancer's progression. He can no longer fathom a cure.

"I think the miracle is that I've been here this long and I've had the opportunity to touch as many lives as I have."

His bones are fragile. In July, he quit chemotherapy, which hadn't been working, after an infection kept him in the hospital four days. Now his treatments are to provide comfort. Tumors are growing in his hips. He falls sometimes because he's weak. It makes him nervous. The pain will most likely worsen before he dies, he says, but he doesn't dwell there.

"Everybody's going to deal with adversity in their lives," he says. Everybody feels fear and anger.

Put it behind you, he tells patients. Don't get in a rut. It's a speed bump in life. Come up with a plan and keep it flexible.

He once dreamed he would make breakthroughs in treating cancers.

Now he relies on his faith and dreams of heaven.

"I believe that after I die that's where I'm going to go," he says. "As far as how that's going to be, I don't know. But I feel it's going to be amazing and I look forward to it and I hope every day that it comes."

While he waits, he tends to the important things.

In August, Tebes visited his sister, Caroline Stevens, in Georgia. They picked up her son Alex, 5, who had just started kindergarten and headed for a playground with Ben, 3. Tebes swung them on a tire swing and then hopped on for a ride.

He went to Toronto in September for the wedding of his old roommate from the University of Florida.

On Halloween, he made pecan-crusted chicken and risotto for Christine from a recipe he found on the Internet.

Sunday, he bought a turkey for Thanksgiving. His in-laws were coming from Orlando, bringing a chocolate pecan pie.

He and his younger brother, Matthew, plan to root for the University of Florida at the game Saturday, against Florida State University.

When people ask how he's doing, he replies, "I'm just trucking along."

Elisabeth Dyer can be reached at edyer@sptimes.com or 813 226-3321.

[Last modified November 25, 2006, 06:11:46]