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Dinner with the governor is on the $1 menu

By TIMES WIRES
Published December 14, 2006

When the Monroe, La., Chamber of Commerce got a chance to put dinner with the governor up for auction, officials thought they had their headlining item. So they made it the last in the auction and started the bidding at $1,000. That was met with the sound of birds chirping. So they lowered the price to $500. Anyone? No? Finally, banking executive Malcolm Maddox offered $1, and the gavel fell before he could change his mind. Afterward, everyone was really embarrassed, and the chamber's president called it a "poor joke gone awry." An aide to Gov. Kathleen Blanco, who has been under fire since Hurricane Katrina, said the governor had bigger things to worry about. Even Maddox was a bit red-faced and gave $1,000.

The classic battle of man vs. pie

Used to be that the annual meat-and-potato pie eating contest in Wigan, England, was all about volume. Eat as many pies as you can in three minutes and you win this festival of gluttony. Then the Vegetarian Society complained about the carnage. So now, the contest rewards the person who can eat one pie the fastest. Brendan Brockbank, above, won this year when he woofed down a pie in 78 seconds. And runner-up Mark Rye said he liked the new rule. "I'm feeling quite ill, so I'm pretty glad the new rules limited my eating," he said. In other news, the event banned the use of gravy as an "unfair lubricative advantage."

Tell us more about this foie gras ...

Protesters in Sheffield, England, are trying to get the Blue Room Brasserie to stop selling foie gras. Animal rights activists say the delicacy is derived from the mistreatment of ducks and geese, which are force-fed to swell the size of their luscious livers. According to Sheffield Today, protesters have picketed outside the Blue Room five times. And it has definitely had an impact. "I am selling more foie gras than ever," said the restaurant's chef, Christian Kent.

He paints flowers you shouldn't smell

By day, Stephen Murmer is a mild mannered high school art teacher in Richmond, Va. But by night, he becomes noted artist "Stan Murmur." And now that the school that employs the teacher knows about the artist, he has been suspended. Seems that Murmer is noted because of his unique style. He starts with a canvas. Then, well, he smears his rear with paint and presses it on the canvas. The school frowns on this. Most of his work is of flowers - Tulip Butt is his most popular work - and some go for as much as $900. Murmer has the ACLU working on a challenge to his five-day suspension.

[Last modified December 14, 2006, 01:09:09]