Floridian: Not so wonderful

Shopping malls. Big box outlets. Pet shops. Bookstores. In your car. In your office. Even in your own home, you are not safe.

Wherever you go, you will hear it. You will instantly recognize the bouncy, spacey, atonal synthesizer chords. And the moment you hear the lyrics, you will cringe.

It is Paul McCartney's yuletide anticlassic, Wonderful Christmastime. And it may be the most unbearable holiday song ever recorded.

Originally released as a single in 1979, then included in a rerelease of Wings' 1979 album Back to the Egg - alongside another holiday track titled gulp Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reggae - Wonderful Christmastime eschews yuletide warmth in favor of a trippy, scattershot synth line and lyrics about a children's choir at a holiday party. In other words, it's vintage late-stage Wings.

Even the Macca-loving BBC describes the track as "one of those songs that divides a musical nation . . . one of those songs that is either loved or loathed, depending on how cheery you like your music."

- "This song is so f------ annoying and bad that it is not only a disgrace to the musical legacy of the Beatles, it's even a disgrace to Wings." (The Phat Phree)

- "It manages to get in my head and stay there for days on end, pushing out any and all other thoughts until I feel like some robot (whose) only objective is to KILL PAUL MCCARTNEY." (Ornithopter)

- "Sweet Christ, if this (isn't) the worst song ever recorded, I'm not sure what is. . . . I fully expect that Wonderful Christmastime is what's piped through Hell's stereo system while Satan pierces your genitals with burning rods." (Best Week Ever comedian Christian Finnegan)

- "Despite being 27 years old, its bitter, premanufactured coldness has yet to be equaled in modern popular music. Whereas every other '70s novelty song has been put to rest, it marches onwards, impervious to criticism, unstoppable as the Nazi Blitzkrieg." (Epinions.com)

It's not just listeners. Musicians seem to agree. One of the few artists of any renown to release a cover of Wonderful Christmastime is British singer Tom McRae, who recorded a downbeat, melancholy version for the 2004 indie-rock collection Maybe This Christmas Tree.

McRae said he was offered a choice of holiday songs to cover, but other artists - Death Cab For Cutie, Ivy, the Polyphonic Spree - had already claimed the best ones. "With no disrespect to Mr. McCartney," he said in an e-mail, "I was left with the dregs.

"To me it seemed more fun to attempt a song that wasn't exactly a favorite. . . . To me the only way to go was in the opposite direction to the original, and make it ironic - perhaps the easiest escape route, but it seems so overly sweet in the first place you wonder if Macca even believed it."

In spite of all the criticism, the song refuses to go away. In 2005, Wonderful Christmastime came in at No. 25 on the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers' list of the most-played holiday songs.

St. Petersburg station Magic 94.9 WWRM-FM, which switched to an all-holiday format after Thanksgiving, lists each day's playlist on its Web site, allowing listeners to track the song's airplay.

12:33 p.m. Tuesday: Wonderful Christmastime. 5:25 p.m. Tuesday: Wonderful Christmastime. 9:43 a.m. Wednesday: Wonderful Christmastime. And so on.

"A lot of people call and they love the song," said 94.9 program director Tom Paleveda. "It's positive, it's uplifting, it's bouncy, it's fun. For Pete's sake, it's Paul McCartney. He's a very well-loved musician."

Paleveda's station will abandon its all-Christmas format on Christmas Day, which means shoppers have only about six more days before they're free of McCartney's evergreen anthem. For 11 more months, anyway.

Share your thoughts on this story

Read our guidelines for comments

Comments on this article

by Eric	01/12/07 04:54 AM
I enjoy the tune very much and the entire "Back To The Egg" cd. I would say my least favorite song with Paul on it is "The Girl Is Mine" with Michal Jackson.

by Jeff	12/28/06 01:19 AM
Besides, The Waitress' "Christmas Wrapping" is much worse.

by Jeff	12/28/06 01:17 AM
First, if you spent the time to complain about the writer having nothing better to write about, you have no sense of irony. Second, if you think because it's a popular song it's a GOOD song, then let me point you at all the crap on top twenty today.

by Paul	12/27/06 05:00 AM
I prefer the one called 'Once upon a long ago'I think that was also a Christmas song

by mary	12/23/06 05:16 PM
I bought a whole CD just to GET this one song... I'm tempted to say "now I'll smile even MORE when I hear it played, just knowing it's driving Macca-haters crazy", but I'll refrain. I'll just smile for myself..the song makes me feel happy. :)

by Michelle	12/23/06 12:30 PM
Why don't you pick on someone your own size? If you think you can write a better one - that will withstand the test of time and sell as many copies - why don't YOU try, Mr. Cridlin? I'm afraid your criticism smacks more of jealousy, than taste!

by Retail drone	12/21/06 07:46 PM
If you have listened to 5 versions of "Santa Baby" and 4 versions of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" every DAY at work, you would not be able to call it the worst song ever. I am so serious it scares me.

by Jim	12/21/06 06:16 PM
Played alot and has lasted over time because it has mass appeal. You don't like "lift a glass...don't look down?" I'm sorry, but I need to be reminded of that sometimes.

by pamela	12/21/06 01:02 PM
the song is great, you are not scrooge...

by Tom	12/20/06 09:34 PM
GREEN seems to be a christmas color for Cridlin .... tell ya what, Jay, you write ONE melody as good as this and I'll get back to ya. The fact it's in heavy holiday rotation 27 years later might be a hint that it's not the worst song ever written.

by Karen	12/20/06 08:49 PM
I simply love hearing "Wonderful Christmastime." I even bought the CD beause I wanted this song. Now, I don't like "Rudolph,the Red -nosed Reggae", but it's not even the worst Christmas song. I wish Paul would write another original Christmas song.

by doris	12/20/06 05:49 PM
Perhaps they could simply ask Paul if he has another Xmas song that they could play in its place. I like the song but perhaps they could have another one in its place.

by Pat	12/20/06 02:25 PM
Other than a few 50's sounding songs, like Jingle Bell Rock and Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, and then John's Happy Christmas (which is now a bit dated), who else has even tried to write one? It's just a bouncy pop tune with a cute video!

by Clive	12/20/06 07:30 AM
I remember way back in the 1960's when 3rd rate journalists tried then to gain some noteriety by slagging off the Beatles - never did work!.. I'm not sure which planet Cridlin must be on to try this tactic again in 2006!

by Mj	12/20/06 05:28 AM
there are thousands of annoying x-mas songs and this isn't one of them. Any song will make you feel annoyed if you feel that way naturally!!!!!

by mj	12/20/06 05:22 AM
there are many many annoying x-mas songs and this song is not at the top of my list.

by Claudia	12/19/06 08:27 PM
I love this song. It makes me smile everytime I hear it. Holiday time or not. Thanks Paul for this holiday classic and Bah humbug to you.

by dmw	12/19/06 07:25 PM
Are you guys so bored that you have nothing else to write about? Some other article in another paper bashed the song the other day before you. How original!

by Stacey	12/19/06 04:23 PM
I love that song so much. It's just a warm song that is about enjoying the holiday through gathering w/ friends and family. It's perfect!

by Kim	12/19/06 03:54 PM
jay, you said it. i love macca with every cell in my body, but this song makes me wince in pain every one of the nine million times i have to endure it each december.

by Rachel	12/19/06 03:51 PM
I never feel it's Christmas until I've heard "Wonderful Christmastime." I don't think the feeling this song gives to those of us who love it should be belittled by a Scrooge masquerading as a reporter.

by Carol	12/19/06 03:15 PM
Mr. Cridlin is tone-deaf! I love Paul McCartney's song. I think it's beautiful and has plenty of character, and the lyrics are fine the way they are. Apparently lots of others agree, since it was named among the top 25 xmas songs by ASCAP. So There!

by Jobeth	12/19/06 03:15 PM
That song is so horrible it's played everywhere I go. It even placed in the top 25 Christmas songs of all time by ASCAP. Imagine an honor like that for such a lame song? Mr. Cridlin seems you are in the minority on this one.

by beatlesnumber9	12/19/06 02:05 PM
Why don't you go down to the old folks home and wax the steps? If the song don't cheer you up, that speaks more about you than the song.

by Rudi	12/19/06 01:55 PM
"Wonderful Christmastime" is a somewhat throw-away song, even for Macca. But then again: aren't most Christmas-themed songs trite? I mean, songs about reindeer, snowmen, making moves on people due to the weather - these aren't exactly deep concepts.

by Kelley	12/19/06 01:54 PM
sorry... but since this song came out it wouldn't be christmas without it... i remember my son singing it when he was little.. his version went something like: "SIMPY HAPPY WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME!" So when i hear it i remember that an SMILE!

by Mitch	12/19/06 01:45 PM
I really don't know why people have to diss the song. It's a great song!!! After all MACCA is in the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame & the Songwriters Hall Of Fame.If those song bashers think they can write a better song - let them have a crack at it....

by Kevin	12/19/06 01:05 PM
What kind of reporter has nothing to write about other than this nonsence. Give it up. The song is a cute little tune and only played during holidays... You are just being a hateful scrodge.

by stacy	12/19/06 01:03 PM
What is your problem? First of all, I am offended because I own a Petshop and play that song on purpose during the holidays for my customers. Its a gleeful song and reminds me of holiday time. Dont you have anything more important to write about?????

by Barbara	12/19/06 12:48 PM
Jay, you are a grinch; lighten up! Especially in light of all that poor Paul is going thru with the Wicked Witch! I hope this article is tongue in cheek. Happy holidays anyways!

by janet	12/19/06 12:41 PM
Sorry you don't like this song. But others do. I can think of a million others that bother me. But do I feel compelled to diss them? If you hate it so much go write us a better one, ok?

by Gail	12/19/06 12:10 PM
The song is perfect. The problem is listening to all-Christmas radio stations! Perhaps people should get out more & not be glued to constant ear candy. Play Happy Xmas (War is Over) and Wonderful Christmastime back to back a few times & just smile!

Not so wonderful

Being subjected to Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime, day after day after day, might even sap Santa of his holiday spirit.