A boomer baby book

Mary-Lou Weisman offers a tongue-in-cheek chronicle of life as we age, retire and try to keep pace with the world.

By NANCY PARADIS
Published December 19, 2006

Ten years ago, when the vanguard of the baby boomers hit middle age, humorist Mary-Lou Weisman had the idea that what these people needed was a "baby" book to record their passage into a different phase of life. She was right. My Middle Aged Baby Book sold a quarter-million copies.

With the estimated 78-million boomers now contemplating everything from their 60th birthdays to gray hair, having witnessed events such as 9/11 and the surge of the Internet, Weisman figures it is time for an update.

My Baby Boomer Baby Book, which she says has about 50 percent new material, is the result. A parody of a traditional baby book, it has a padded cover, large type, clever illustrations and a place to record vital statistics - as well as the names of primary caregivers, hairdresser, herbologist, yoga instructor and proctologist.

The book is divided into numerous short chapters with headings such as "First Words," "My Imaginary Friend" and "My Playpen." The last has an illustration of the interior of an SUV, complete with GPS navigation system, MP3 player, seat belt tension sensor and so on - gadgets so many boomers consider necessities.

The chapter "When I Grow Up" profiles the different living arrangements the middle-aged may need to start considering, from buying a condo where everyone is about the same age, to a gated community, to becoming a burden to your children. Heck, they were once a burden to you!

Boomers want to continue learning, so in a chapter titled "I Go to School, the no-adult-left-behind school of continuing education," classes are offered in:

- "The elder hostile movement," a look at how humans throughout history have treated their elders.

- "Advanced spiritual development workshop," a class in haunting for those who have met angels and experienced at least one past-life regression.

- The "Luddite support group," for those who have had it with technology.

At 69, Weisman is nine years ahead of the baby boom generation but considers herself "boomerized."

In this era of conspicuous consumption and excess, "these boomers are made in America. They're very well-entertained. ... They are conduits of communication, much of it virtual," Weissman said during a book tour through St. Petersburg this month.

But she says they are also "anxious, ambitious, nervous - they're in a scary world and they're trying not to get mowed down by the pace at which they live." The word that best describes them, she thinks, is "wired."

The boomers subscribe to "the illusion that if they live life exactly right, they'll be spared old age and death," she said. So they run, hydrate and assume yoga positions amid a forest of votive candles to reduce stress.

Failing and sagging body parts can be replaced and tightened with plastic surgery, Weisman said. In a chapter titled "I Take My Medicine," she offers the tongue-in-cheek remedy "Immortalis" to counter the effects of aging.

The theme of boomer self-absorption runs rampant through the book. One of the saddest things she sees, Weisman said, is multitasking mothers in supermarkets, talking on their cell phones while their babies sit facing them in the shopping carts.

For her, she recalled, this was a time to talk to, make faces at, and bond with her son, who's now 44.

Yet Weisman said she is not criticizing the self-absorption:

"This generation did not invent narcissism. They live in a world of plenty, driven by consumerism, perched at the apex of materialism. How could they help" being affected by it?

What makes the boomers stand out is their sheer number, which gives them power. As a result, she says, they are redefining retirement and how to age.

If you don't see some of yourself in My Baby Boomer Baby Book, ask someone who knows you well if they see you in it. Either way, you'll find something to laugh at in the book.

Nancy Paradis can be reached at (727) 893-8342 or nparadis@sptimes.com

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. REVIEW

My Baby Boomer Baby Book by Mary-Lou Weisman, Workman Publishing, $13.95.

[Last modified December 19, 2006, 11:16:42]