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Special to the Times

Hello,America,you're on the air

By DANIEL PUCKETT
Published December 31, 2006

Thanks for the call! I'm not sure about that theory, but that's what open-line Tuesday is all about, it's your day to tell me what's on your mind, no matter how weird or misguided - and frankly, caller, that was pretty weird. Ha ha.

All right, Mountain time zone, you're on the air.

Hello, me and my buddies were talking last night, and we figured out that if you equivocate on the meaning of just one word in what that senator said yesterday, you can mock it pretty unmercifully. I've been wondering why no one else has made that point.

Yeah, you know that's right, and if I equivocate on just one word you used, the whole thing just gets funnier, see what I mean? Thanks for the call. Eastern time zone, you're on the air.

Hello. I'd just like to say bumper sticker. I mean, bumper sticker and bumper sticker. I don't want to say bumper sticker, but when you get right down to it, bumper sticker. That's all I wanted to say. Oh, and sports-related bumper sticker.

That's a very good point, caller. A lot of people criticize us when we say bumper sticker, but to me, bumper sticker is not just something to say, it's pure bumper sticker from my heart, and I know you're on the same wavelength. Oh, and different bumper sticker related to the same sport. Appreciate the call.

Pacific, you're on the air with open-line Tuesday.

I just think it's sad the way the media has been treating the whole thing. What ever happened to the days when reporters would dig into stuff like this? Now they're so driven by their own agenda that they just ignore these things or spin them till you don't know which way is left or right. Obviously they think we're so stupid we won't figure it out.

That's why shows like this are so important, caller. We cover the issues that the dinosaur media don't want you to know about. Next caller, go ahead.

I'm just angry about the way you treat people who don't agree with you. Like that group you were picking on yesterday - you act like they're evil, but they're just different from you.

I know it's open-line Tuesday, but I'm not going to let that one slide. If you read that book - we had the author as a guest last week - you'd know that I'm being perfectly fair to them.

I did read it, and I can't believe you take that garbage seriously. What about the part where he wrote that they eat their own young?

You're missing the larger point of what he's saying.

What's the "larger point" of calling them baby-eaters?

He didn't say that.

Yes, he did. In fact -

Next caller, you're on the air with open-line Tuesday.

That last caller doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. I used to live next door to some of those people, and you're right on the money about them. What scares me is that more and more of them are voting. Don't we have enough divisiveness already?

That's right! You know, this country used to be about freedom, but the guys on the other side want you to forget that, they want you to think we're really about their values, their half-baked ideas, their rotten notions of right and wrong. But it's callers like you who are making a difference and turning things around. Next caller.

I just want to thank you for what you're doing here. I'm a new listener, but I've been getting my family and my friends to listen, and they all say the same thing. You're doing a great job - keep it up!

I appreciate that, caller. It's callers like you who make it all worthwhile, who let me know at the end of the day that we're making the changes we need to make this country a better place.

Next up, Central time, you're on open-line Tuesday.

Hey, I live in a part of the country that the rest of the country seems to misunderstand, and I just want to set the record straight: There are lots of us here who feel the same way you do, and things are happening here you wouldn't believe. I just hope the rest of the country sees that.

We sure see it here; thanks for the call. I visited your area a couple of years ago - beautiful country, beautiful people. It's not like some people say at all.

Well, they need to stop telling those jokes - they tick me off.

That's right, some things just aren't funny, no matter how much they make people laugh.

Let's take a break, and when we come back, we'll have more of open-line Tuesday - your day to tell America what's on your mind. But first this -

Daniel Puckett is a former copy editor for the St. Petersburg Times. He lives in San Antonio, Texas, and is working on a collection of short stories.

[Last modified December 30, 2006, 21:36:00]