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Guest Column

Be a volunteer, not a martyr

By BRENDA HARRIS NIXON
Published January 3, 2007

For most of my life, I've done volunteer work, along with working to support myself.

I started out with the hands-on type of volunteering, where the rewards are immediate and direct. There's nothing more direct than holding a child's hand and distracting him while he gets stitches in the emergency room, or keeping company with an elderly person who's alone in a hospital because her family is miles away.

Then I moved up to "management" - committees, boards and presidencies, where the rewards are more long term. This also is where you pass out praise and give credit, but take the blame and grief for anything that goes wrong, whether you were responsible or not.

This holiday season, I decided I would like to get back to basics, so in November I started volunteering in two local nonprofit organizations. One, purely for fun, is the gift/book store in the Clearwater main library. I love books, and the volunteers there all read lots of novels, so the discussions can be lively and thought provoking.

The other organization I chose because it helps many, many people in need and does a fabulous job. I won't name the organization here because I've seen the people I'm about to describe in every group.

Volunteering, for me, is all about feeling the joy of doing something worthwhile. It isn't about being a martyr. It isn't about feeling indispensable. You might like to think you are, but trust me, you're not. When you're dealing with vulnerable people (and aren't we all?), don't come in sick just because you gave your word. We don't need to spend our holiday in bed because you think no one can replace you.

Some others volunteer because they're bored or have no social life. That's fine as long as you don't bring that attitude with you.

Others simply have done the same thing for so long they don't think anyone else can do it right, or heaven forbid, better. Sometimes it's more important to do things right than to do them faster, if speed isn't the main goal.

Once you've lost your passion or joy and you now see your clients as pains, and you let them know you think that, it's time to take a break and think about what might make you happier.

It's never okay to roll your eyes at those you're trying to help, just because they've asked a question you've heard a thousand times. It's also not okay to force on someone something they can't use just because you can't take the time to give them what they can use. No one is forcing you to volunteer. If you choose to do so, put on a smile and make it a pleasant experience for everyone.

The best way for an organization to grow its volunteer corps is by referral. When something makes you happy and feeds your soul, tell your friends and they may want to try it.

If volunteers leave your organization with praise, you'll grow. If they leave with nothing but negativity, they certainly won't bring in their friends.

Brenda Harris Nixon lives in Clearwater.

[Last modified January 3, 2007, 07:05:10]