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Don't make me get the tranquilizer

Published January 11, 2007


The zoo in Adelaide, Australia, has set up a display to raise awareness about primate conservation ... by putting some humans on display. Reuters reports that the humans will be locked in an unused orangutan cage and observed by a psychologist as they eat bananas and stuff. Most visitors largely rolled their eyes when the volunteers started grooming each other and checking for lice. Oh, and unlike, say, the elephants, the people are allowed to go home at night. One of the human apes, Josh Penley, said the experiment was a chance to "get myself out of my comfort zone and to get a week off work." The zoo doesn't allow any nudity, and officials haven't ruled out using the tranquilizer gun, if necessary.

Quick, someone put out this fire

The mountain of mulch in Helotes, Texas, was never something that people in the area were happy about. But they didn't get really upset until the 400-foot long, 225-foot wide and 70-foot tall mound caught fire. That was on Christmas, and since then, the city, the county and the company that owns the land have been fighting over whose job it is to put it out. Meanwhile, the smoke is so thick some mornings people can't see out the front door, and people with breathing problems are being encouraged to move. The state finally had enough of the bickering and sent in a contractor to put it out - at a cost of about $1.75-million. It took more than a decade to build the mound, and it could take at least two more weeks to put the fire out.

Police visit sent him through roof

Police in Moultrie, Ga., were looking for Danny Butts, who was wanted on probation violation. So they went to the house where they thought he might be and became suspicious when all the lights went out as soon as they drove up. The person in the house at the time said she had no idea where he was. That story seemed unlikely, so they took a look around. While they investigated, there was a huge breakthrough in the case: the ceiling. Butts broke right through it, falling out of the attic into a bedroom. "Normally you have to crawl up there and root them out," said Capt. Tommy Rabon. "But he came out on his own - the hard way."

Art teacher fired

The Chesterfield County School Board in Richmond, Va., voted unanimously Tuesday to fire Stephen Murmer, the art teacher known for his after-hours work as a painter who used his rear-end as his brush. The board decided that students, who had become collectors of his work, should be free of the distraction the situation caused. "Chesterfield lost a tremendous asset today," said Murmer's attorney, Jason Anthony, making it completely unnecessary to write a punch line here.


[Last modified January 11, 2007, 01:18:14]

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